


12 Days of Bat-mas

by ArrowheadProductions



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas, Bat Family, Bruce is a Scrooge, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree Cutting, Damian Doesn't Get Christmas, Dick is a Christmas Sugarplum, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hanukkah, Humor, I just wanted to write them all being mostly happy for once and there for each other so here you go, I'm posting once a day for the next 12 days, Jason is a little shit, Light Angst, Platonic Love, Playing in the Snow, Rated T for cursing and for mild references to sexual content in later chapters, Romance, Santa Claus - Freeform, Secret Santa, Sibling Bonding, The birds and the bats, actually they all are, god help me, happiness, nothing serious though it's mostly for humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-14 16:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13011453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArrowheadProductions/pseuds/ArrowheadProductions
Summary: It's the holiday season and Gotham City's resident birds and bats are getting as ready as busy vigilantes can be!





	1. Luck of the Draw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first day of Christmas, the birds and bats play Secret Santa.

“Shouldn’t we have done this weeks ago?” Tim questioned as Dick finished writing all of their respective names on little cutouts of paper and began tossing them into the Santa hat on his desk.

“We’ve been a little busy lately, you know.” He quirked an eyebrow, though none of the usual holiday cheer and exuberance left his face. He wasn’t wrong either. They _had_ been incredibly busy, even by their standards. It was easy to get whisked away into the hustle and bustle of the heightened crime rate in Gotham City around the holidays. They all wondered how Batman did it on his own for so many years when it was currently a struggle for all of them to maintain. Even Dick took a break from watching over Bludhaven to help the cause.

“I do not even see the purpose in all of this foolishness.” Damian scoffed. “We already have a sufficient amount of wealth and weaponry. What more could we need?”

“Uh, I don’t know about you, but I had my eye on a pretty new microscope.”

“Not everyone is a complete loser, Drake.”

“Baby bird burn!” Jason beamed from where he leaned with his feet up on the coffee table, completely stretched out as if he owned the place. “Can’t say I disagree either.”

“The point is to be able to get each other something thoughtful and meaningful from the heart, Dami. It’s a gesture of good will.” Dick truly had the patience of Gob when it came to the mini assassin.

“Or if you’re Jason, you just get them a $20 giftcard to Pizza Hut.” Stephanie rolled her eyes as she remembered the year before’s secret Santa.

“What? The key to my heart is through my stomach.”

“That sounds more like the key to heartburn to me.” Cassandra quipped.

“Nice delivery.”

“Unlike Pizza Hut.”

“ZING!”

“If I get you for this ridiculous tradition, I am getting you duct tape for your mouth, Fatgirl.”

“Easy on the insults, Little D. It’s Christmas, after all. You don’t want coal in your stocking.”

“Tt, don’t be preposterous. It won’t be Christmas for another 12 days. Even still, coal is a productive item to receive, as I can shave it down to create a shiv of sorts to blend in with my dark socks at school. This way, in the event of an attack, I won’t be left solely to the explosives I carry in my breast pocket at all times.”

Everyone looked at each other, seeming to share the same thought of needing to vocalize this truth to Bruce as soon as they saw him next. Also, Jason was no longer going to play his coal prank on Damian anymore. It just wouldn’t have been as funny if the kid liked getting black and dirty rocks for Christmas, though he shouldn’t have been surprised.

“But it’s the Christmas _season_.” The oldest Robin smiled dreamily, pushing past the threatening words of his youngest brother. “It’s the best time of the year.”

“Uh-oh, he’s gonna start quoting carols.” Jason groaned. “Everyone run and save yourselves.”

“I mean, I don’t know if they’ll be snow-”

“Too late.” Barbara muttered from where she was perched at the end of the desk Dick wrote on. He narrowed his eyes at her playfully.

“You better watch it, Babs, or I’m not going to catch you under the mistletoe _once_ this year.”

“You’re breaking my heart here, Boy Wonder.”

He rose to his feet and leaned so a hand was placed on either side of her legs. “Lucky for you, is that you don’t need a plant to kiss me.”

“Merry Christmas to me, indeed.” She drawled and met him the rest of the way for a brief kiss. The boys all obnoxiously gagged while Steph and Cass unabashedly smiled at the open display of affection between the oldest Robin and Batgirl. Everyone knew that the holidays brought out an extra kick into Dick’s step and ever since they started dating again, it seemed to draw out an extra dose of merriment in Babs too.

“Can we just get our names before I puke into the Christmas hat instead?”

Dick had a look of smugness on his face in spite of his brother’s lack of spirit.

“Alright you scrooges and grinches, just as a preface, you can’t tell _anyone_ who you get. I knew we’re all detectives and hate the idea of there being something we don’t know and have the compulsive desire to figure it all out, but that takes the fun out of it.”

“Why are you staring at me?” Tim asked.

“No reason.” Dick said innocently.

“It’s because you’re the worst at letting this go, Replacement.” Jason scowled. “I think this is all pretty dumb, since we all have the money to buy everyone something, and I still don’t ruin it for Dickhead like you always seem to.”

“At least I wear the Christmas sweater he makes everyone wear.”

“So I like to show off the guns. Who cares?”

“If only you were talking about your arms.” Barbara rolled her eyes.

“They’re new guns!”

“If I get Drake, can I exchange it for someone else?” Damian asked.

“No. If you won’t see it as a family bonding experience, then look at it as a team building exercise. You know what Tim likes. You’ve criticized him enough for it. Go with your gut. I know you can be nice.”

“Dickie the optimist.”

“And you aren’t wearing your “Ghost of Christmas past, present and future” t-shirt either.”

“Bullshit!”

“Alfred hates it when you wear that!”

“… Fine. But I’m not wearing the corny matching pajamas you get for everyone every year.”

“Matching sleepwear?” Damian cringed. “Grayson, I know you’ve had questionable fashion choices in the past, but this is the present. You’re a grown man and the oldest son to Bruce Wayne. You’re expected to have some dignity. Christmas tradition is one thing, but I hardly find it necessary you try and make fools out of all of us.”

“Watch it, or I’m making this year’s pajamas footies.”

Everyone grimaced at the thought of that outside of maybe Cassandra, who never minded having her feet warmed up on a blistery cold night. The others suffered a bit from having naturally warm bodies and wouldn’t respond well to this.

“Question!” Tim raised his hand. “So, I’m dating Stephanie this year.”

“It’s our first Christmas together.” Steph chirped.

“Right, well, I know I’m expected to get her something for Christmas, because duh, but what if I draw her name?”

“Then you get her two gifts.” Dick shrugged.

“But what if I put a lot of time and thought into the one gift?”

“Then get her something else too. I had Babs a couple of years ago.”

“But-”

“-Tim!” The joy that had previously bloomed across her face was now replaced with that of frustration and annoyance. He’d dug himself pretty deep into a hole at this point.

Jason thumped him on the back of the head. “We’re rich, you shithead. What are you complaining about?”

“I just don’t have a ton of time on my hands and it takes a while to find the perfect… You know what? Nevermind.”

Even Damian shook his head at his awkward brother’s ignorance. He was 11 and knew very little about proper romantic entanglements (he was still pretty sure that everyone had been set up via Bruce with their current romantic companion), but he did know that it was never wise to come out looking the fool when talking about getting your partner a present for a celebration.

“You know what? I say we make it interesting this year.” Cass proposed. “Non-bought gifts only.”

“Are you suggesting petty theft?” Jason asked.

“No.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Dick smiled. “Not the petty theft part, of course. No one is allowed to spend a dime on the present they get their person this year for secret Santa.”

“In other words, you can still buy me a present.” Steph gritted to Tim, who laughed uncomfortably.

“So what am I supposed to get them now?” Damian objected. He was originally planning on purchasing top of the line throwing knives for whoever he got off of Amazon. They wouldn’t be as polished and nice as his customized set, but they were pretty generous.

“How can it be a gift if it isn’t purchased?”

“It’s supposed to be from the heart.” Dick reiterated as he drew his piece of paper out of the hat. He smiled as he read the name. That meant it could have literally been anyone.

He grunted. Grayson was such a sentimentalist.

“I think we should make it even more interesting. Whoever is the best gift giver gets to go home early from patrol for a month.”

“I wouldn’t sound so confident there, Jaybird, because I already know I’m going to win.”

“Does what I get Steph count for that contest too?”

“Sure, but only because I’m not positive you’ll even still be together at that point, Replacement.”

“Shut up, Jay.” Tim stumbled and looked around curiously.

“So, its settled. We’ve got a competition going, we can’t buy our gifts, and its time to draw!” Dick beamed, knowing he was going to have this contest in the bag. He already knew what he was getting his someone.

“Oh my God.” Barbara said to Tim. “You are already trying to figure out who everybody has, aren’t you?”

“I wasn’t designed for these kinds of things! It’s a gift and a curse!”


	2. Snow Devils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the second day of Christmas, the boys had a fight.

Gotham City was normally a very dark and ambiguous looking city with jaded lines and sketchy turns that would confuse and put off most visitors. It was impossible to deduce what existed behind every corner high and low. The black night sky never seemed to compare to the dark aura the city gave off both literally and metaphorically.

Of course, for many it was home just like anywhere else. It was far away on the spectrum of perfection, but that didn’t mean its heroes didn’t try to protect it any less. Still, crimefighting did have its downsides that went beyond the physical toll or the slew life-or-death moments.

“I can’t believe the girls get to see Star Wars tonight and we don’t.” Nightwing grumbled as he looked through binoculars at the apartment building across from them. Beside him, Robin crouched down low, the top of his hood catching an abundance of snow flurries that bustled along with the bone-chilling wind that swept around them. He was so still that it made him look like a powdered donut. The usual obsidian exterior of the city was also effectively coated in about 12 inches of snow from the unexpected storm that struck the Eastern seaboard the night before.

“You just _had_ to pick heads didn’t you, Dickhead?”

“Field names, Hood.” Red Robin commanded over the comms.

“Nah, I’m sticking with what I said.” Jason’s tone was ever brazen and unaffected by the storm. To be fair, his entire face was encased in what was essentially a sphere of warmth and wasn’t experiencing the bitter cold bite at his skin the same way. Dick was positive he had about three pairs of thermals on in addition to his winter suit. It was supposed to be snow resistant, but that did little good when it was -5 out and they were standing on some of the highest skyscrapers in all of Gotham.

“You’re about 20 years too late from being the first person to use that one on me.”

“Hold up, you’re telling me no one called you that until you were 6? God, you were sheltered.”

“Not everyone is a descendent of street trash.” Robin grumbled under his breath.

“I heard that you little-”

“-You were meant to you stooge.”

“I think you meant “Scrooge”, Robin.” Nightwing tried.

“I know what I meant.”

“I don’t see how the girls are even going to get to the movies in this weather.” Red Robin got back on the initial topic. “Roads are closed, businesses are closed, which means the movies are closed.”

“Wayne Manor has a movie theater in it, Replacement.”

“And lest we not forget that biggest Star Wars fan of the three of them is the all-knowing Oracle.”

“I do not care for Star Trek-”

“-WARS!” They all barked back, including Nightwing, who rarely, if ever, snapped out on Robin.

“Whatever.” He continued. “But I also do not enjoy standing on this rooftop for hours on end and listening to you three complain.”

“Because you’re always a real walk in the park.”

“Silence, Drake! My point is, this work is beneath us.”

“Field names!” He retorted.

“Alright, alright.” Nightwing, ever the peacekeeper, stuck out his hand as if they were all right next to him and not hundreds of yards away on another rooftop to get a different view. “I think we’re all just a little tired-”

“And freezing our balls off.”

“And starving.”

“And frustrated with this poor excuse of a mission.”

“Right.” He sighed, a puff of air formulating around his head like a halo. He had to wonder when it became their jobs to try and catch the mayor having an extramarital affair. Sure, cheating was a terrible thing to do to somebody, but it wasn’t a crime either. There was rumor that the mistress was a member of one of the bigger drug cartels in Gotham, so that was a potential lead, but tonight, they were just trying to get the picture and get out of there.

“Nothing positive to add on, huh? Are you finally, in all my years of knowing you, about to admit that we have a totally sucky situation at our hands? Is Dick Grayson –gasp- unhappy?”

“Field-”

“-Shut-up, Restaurant Chain.”

“I’m not a Care Bear, you know. I do experience other emotions.”

“Maybe, but when have you ever really shown that?”

“As opposed to you? Who has the emotional range of a tac.”

“I think our guy has a guest!” Robin interjected.

“Cameras ready?” Red Robin asked.

All of them groaned as Nightwing’s soft murmuring of “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga was heard above the violent wind.

“What? It fits the moment!”

“Just take the damn picture of the broad.”

“Broad? Are you 70, Jay?”

“Field names.” Hood obnoxiously mimicked back at Red Robin.

“Robin, close your eyes. They’re getting kind of down and dirty over there.” Nightwing said as he clicked the picture and sent it immediately over to Batman with the caption: _“Glad we could be glorified peeping Tom’s for you tonight”._

“I have sliced people in half, Nightwing. Surely, you don’t think there is much more of my innocence that is left to be preserved.”

“Well, if I have anything to say about it, there will be.”

“I have already walked in on you and Gor-Oracle before.”

“What?”

“You may have had all the doors locked, but I was concerned you were trapped or in a lockdown situation, desperate to be rescued. Neither of you had answered my messages so I assumed the worst. I arrived at the Clocktower, ready to get vengeance on whoever slayed the two of you… Then, I saw the actual situation at hand and realized my mistake. To be fair, your form did resemble how you appear when you lose to her in sparring.” He answered objectively.

“Oh my God, Robin. _Stop_ talking about my form.”

Red Robin and Hood could be heard snickering while Nightwing had his mouth hanging open in shock.

“So, the original BG likes to be on top, huh?”

“I have walked in on Hood pleasuring himself to a framed picture of that fraud who dressed like Father, but with bat-nipples. He is not nearly as evasive as you and Oracle are. He has done it in Father’s chair in the middle of the lair. Again, I thought he was in pain and wanted to see what beast brought on such damage.”

“George Clooney.”

Hood choked on his own tongue. The smugness in his voice gone.

“As for Red Robin-”

“-Alright.”

“…I’ve determined he’s a virgin.”

“What?”

“There is nothing wrong with that. I’m a virgin.”

“I know! I’m not one though… Wait, you’re 11!”

“What does that have to do with anything? In the League of Assassins, when you reach puberty, you are paired off with a mate and-”

“-Oh God, we are not talking about this right now.” Nightwing confirmed. “Just… Look away for my sake.”

“Fine.” He grumbled. “I do not see what the appeal is to any of this, by the way.”

“Do you see the appeal in anything?” Red Robin asked. “That’s a serious question.”

“Justice, most desserts, and being the rightful heir to the mantle.”

“If you blab about that Clooney thing to _anyone_ else, I’m gonna-”

THWAP.

Red Hood didn’t have his face exposed to the chill of the night, but on the back of his neck, he could feel the ice that made contact with bare flesh and slid down the base of his neck and down into his back, slowly beginning to melt and successfully sending a literal chill down his spine

He turned to face his attacker to see none other than Red Robin clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard.

“Shut-up, you horn dog.” He said in between laughs, creating a fog of his own with each exhalation he took.

He didn’t let himself reside in the shock stage for too long, because he meant down and scooped up some snow of his own and bunched it into a firm ball. He wound up as if he was a pitcher and before he could retaliate, another snowball smacked him right in the helmet from another direction.

“That’s for the Dickhead comment.” Nightwing’s laugh filled the air.

Robin seemed interested in the prospect of tradition for the first time. Throwing balls of ice at his brothers? That was something he could get on board with. A smile of his own spread across his face as he watched Red Hood have to hastily wipe the chunks off his dome.

“You’re gonna fucking pay for that cheap shot.”

“Unlikely.” Robin replied and tried his own hand at throwing the ball of ice, hitting Hood like he was a target.

“Okay, let’s cool it with “gang up on Jason” day.” He finally chucked his wad of snow as hard as he could, hitting Nightwing right in emblem, knocking him off the ledge. The laughter of the other three came to an immediate halt and quickly drifted into a terror as no sound was made.

Suddenly and as graceful as the only living member of the Flying Grayson’s could be, Nightwing’s grapple gripped the edge of the skyscraper, and he launched above them dramatically, doing a flip before landing delicately on his feet to throw another snowball, this time hitting Red Robin.

“Surprise bitch.” He mimicked the meme.

“Language, Nightwing!” Hood said in an intentionally haughty tone that all guessed was supposed to be his impression of Alfred. He tackled Nightwing into the snow and the two rolled around as they wrestled. Robin, meanwhile, took this excellent opportunity of being allowed to throw objects at Red Robin and got him right in the groin with an ice ball.

“You’re playing dirty!” He accused.

“So?”

“So, that means you’re going to be on the naughty list.”

A ball smacked Robin in the chest this time.

“I never understood why that’s a bad thing. They need to change that.” Grunted Hood as he moved to pull Red Robin into the wrestling match on top of the pile of snow drift. He slithered away at the last second, not keen on being covered head to toe in whiteness as Nightwing and Red Hood currently were.

“Why?”

“Because naughty sounds really niiiiiice, if you know what I’m saying.”

“I’m sure George Clooney would.” Red Robin retorted and threw a ball that missed Hood by a hair and instead went right for Robin. He cartwheeled and successfully dodged it, but was dragged to the snowy ground with a thud since Red Hood caught his ankle.

“Unhand me!” He ordered.

“Nope!” You didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling mischievously and as much as he tried to wriggle his way free, it was to no use against the hold that Hood currently had on him.

“This is for being a bad birdie.” He mocked as he shoved and rubbed snow in Robin’s face.

“Like you have room to talk.” Nightwing countered and flipped Hood’s helmet open enough to shove a sufficient amount of snow inside.

“Oh you’re gonna pay for that one, Golden Boy.” He chased after him as Nightwing used his grappling gun to swing to the next building. Hood following quickly at his tail, not quite as graceful and seamless as Nightwing’s air travel always seemed to be, as well as being absent of all the theatrics, but he was still right on him. Red Robin leaped and grabbed onto Hood as he swung, taking the ride with him and Robin followed on a line of his own. He’d deny to anyone who asked if he’d laughed as merrily as he did as he whipped through the air, dodging balls of ice and buildings all the same. Despite how soaked and freezing they were, as well as their increased likelihoods of catching colds, it seemed like such a far away idea that got lost in their jubilation.


	3. O Christmas Treason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the third day of Christmas, the bats were interrogated about trees.

 

“Young sirs and ladies, I am sure you are all wondering why I called upon you.”

  
“... Not really. We were all there when Damian ruined Christmas.” Jason said matter-of-factly.

  
The young boy retaliated immediately, face as red as the Robin costume he wore. All were summoned by Agent A to report back to the cave immediately. After the spectacle that was that morning, no one was surprised he called them. Honestly, each of the kids would rather face every villain in Gotham than Alfred Pennyworth’s wrath.

  
“I am not mad, I just want answers and-”

  
“-I did not, you moronic street rat from the dead. Had you not instigated Brucely and Ace, the tree wouldn't have fell. Besides, it was Drake’s foolish attempt at a science experiment that started the fire.”

  
“I didn't instigate those beasts! They tried to eat my arm off because you told them to.”

  
“You were being an ass and insulted my mother.”

  
“Your mother is a-”

  
“-jason.” Bruce said tersely. Clearly, the man just wanted to get out of his bat suit and finally get some sleep. Unfortunately, his children tended to make that impossible. “Don't start.”

  
“Whatever.”

  
“That's right, you-”

  
“-Damian!”

  
“... It was still Drake’s awful concoction that started the fire.”

  
“It was not foolish or awful. It wasn't ready yet! And if Dick hadn't cartwheeled into it, it wouldn't have destabilized.”

  
“Hey, hey, hey, it was lying right in the middle of the floor, it had a cloaking shield on so I couldn't see it, and Stephanie tried to say she was better at cartwheels than me.”

  
Barbara looked to Stephanie in confusion. “Really? You challenged Circus boy in a cartwheel competition? How did you think that was working out for you?”

  
“I lost 20 bucks.” Stephanie grumbled, but then jumped to her own defense. “We wouldn't have had to perform stunts in the living room if you hadn't kicked us out of the cave.”

  
“You guys would not stop pestering me about making Christmas cookies and I was trying to track down Firefly for Bruce.”

  
“I will not be brought into this.”

  
“Father wouldn't need to catch Firefly if Black Bat did her job.”

  
A tight hand was placed on his shoulder, warning him to tread lightly. He swallowed thickly and stopped talking. Cassandra said nothing, but she didn't have to. She did her job and she did it right. Firefly got the jump on her simply because he was able to track a batarang dropped by Red Robin. She merely glared at Tim.

  
“They malfunctioned!” He looked to Barbara.

  
“Dick bent them.” She couldn't believe she was getting sucked into this ridiculousness.

  
Dick looked to her, clearly betrayed. “You were the one who wanted to spar!”

  
“And you were the one who changed the tune from sparring, Former Boy Wonder.” Though the playfulness in her eyes was evident and it took everything in Dick not to look smugly at the rest of his family.

  
“I blame mistletoe.”

  
“You were swapping spit in the cave? People sleep down there!”

  
“They were probably swapping more than just spit.”

  
“Miss Stephanie! That is enough of such crass talk. And Master Jason, there is no reason for you to be sleeping in the cave when you have a perfectly tidy room upstairs suitable for your needs.”

  
“Not all his needs.”

  
He glared at her again, which was clearly going to be the last time he did that. She clamped her mouth shut as Damian had earlier and avoided eye contact, feeling fully chastised.

  
“Anyway, I might not have even needed to spar if Damian hadn't ruined the equipment earlier that day by lashing out when Jason and Tim wouldn't let him come on a mission.”

  
“What mission?” Bruce asked.

  
“No mission.”

  
“Yes mission. We told Babs it was a mission.”

  
“... We were going to… Well, we had this string of robbers that were hitting up the outlets and… Uh…” Jason scratched the back of his neck.

  
“Nice, Jay. Nice lying.”

  
“God, how do you keep your identity from your friends?”

  
“Jason having friends?” Dick asked.

  
Barbara rolled her eyes. “They were obviously holiday shopping.”

  
“Untrue!” Tim snapped.

  
“Sorry, holiday… Scavenging? Since we can't buy presents this year.”

  
“Why did Damian want to come so badly?” Steph asked.

  
“-Tt- none of your business.”

  
“He tried to bribe us into getting his secret Santa something.” Jason admitted. “Little brat is terrible at bribery, by the way. His offer was to be nicer. As if nice pays for my bullets.”

  
“Technically you don't pay for your bullets either.”

  
“You should have let him come.” Bruce said.

  
“Why didn't you?” Alfred asked. “That is quite rude not to bring along your little brother.”

  
“Either way, just because we wouldn't let him come doesn't mean he gets to set off a stink bomb on the training mats.” Tim said.

  
“Just go with Dick! You know he'll love every second of that bonding shit.”

  
“Grayson already finished getting his present. Typical.”

  
“Disgusting.” Steph cringed.

  
“BONDING NOT BONDAGE!”

  
“... Oh.”

  
“Jesus Christ.” Barbara massaged her temples. “This is ridiculous.”

  
“Regardless, we still have a singed Christmas tree, eaten decorations, and only pointed fingers in every other direction. This is not how a family acts around Christmas.”

  
“That's exactly how this family acts around Christmas.” Jason deadpanned.

  
“True, I thought it could have gone a lot worse.” Tim nodded. “I was expecting actual physical violence.”

  
“Same.” Everyone agreed and Bruce face palmed.

  
“All of that is good and fine, but now what are we to do for a tree?”

  
“I have an idea.” Dick smiled.

  
“You're not getting Charlie Brown’s tree.” Stephanie groaned.

  
“Come on! It's so cute and sad and in need of adopting. Please, Bruce?”

  
“Oh my God, are you going to start batting your eyelashes?” Tim groaned.

  
“We will talk about this in the morning.”

  
“Wait, Cass? What is that?” Barbara asked as Cassandra quickly shut the closet door with much force.

  
“Nothing.”

  
“Ooooh it's totally something.” Steph beamed. “Do you have me for secret Santa?”

  
“It's not that.”

  
“But it's something.”

  
“I… Kind of fixed our situation.”

  
“You got a tree, Miss Cassandra?”

  
“Sort of.”

  
“Cass, a tree can't flourish in the closet.” Dick said. “Let it out.”

  
“You know the trees are-” Tim began but was nudged in the ribs by Barbara, who shook her head. Talking about dead trees right now wouldn't make it any better.

  
“This isn't what you want. I know.”

  
“Is it big and smells like pine?”

  
“It's big.”

  
“Wait, you didn't…” Steph trailed off.

  
“She didn't what?” Damian asked.

  
Jason slipped by her to open the door. “Oh no.”

  
“What?”

  
Dick crept around Jason and his whole face transformed into near anguish. “No!!!”

  
“You didn't.” Bruce sighed.

  
“Didn't what?” Damian all but shouted.

  
“She got a fake tree.” Tim shook his head and patted Dick on the back. “That's as bad as setting the tree on fire.”

  
“Not true!” Dick snapped. “But this is… Treason.”

  
“Dick…” Babs rolled her eyes. “It looks much sturdier than the one you guys picked.”

  
“It's not flammable.” She shrugged.

  
“Hmm…” Alfred considered. “And decorations?”

  
“We could make them.” Steph offered. “Homemade.”

  
“You too with this homemade nonsense? We are rich!” Damian whined.

  
“Actually, I am rich and I think it's a good idea.”

  
“It doesn't smell at all like pine.” Dick mumbled bitterly. “Cass, what the hell?”

  
“This way, no one is blamed anymore because Alfred put Tim’s weapon in the middle of the floor.”

  
“WHAT?” Everyone turned immediately to the old man.

  
“I will admit, the tree was quite… Hideous.”

  
“You let us attack ourselves!”

  
“And you were quick to.”

  
“You gave Cass the idea to get a fake! This is the ultimate betrayal.” Dick said.

  
“I am allergic to pine needles.” She muttered softly.

  
“... Oh.”

  
“And Miss Cassandra is staying here full time now and shouldn't have to be on medication in her own home as such.”

  
“Why not just say that? Why start a real fire?” Bruce asked.

  
“Master Richard would be too attached and would camp outside with it if necessary. I did not want this.”

  
“Hey!”

  
“And Master Timothy would try and concoct some kind of cure for her allergy and cause more harm than good.”

  
“Ouch.”

  
“Master Jason might outright disobey.”

  
“Not if it'll kill Cass!”

  
“It just makes me sneeze a lot.”

  
“Yeah, I'd probably disobey then.”

  
“You torched it. That's brutal.” Barbara mused. “But very appropriate for this bunch. What's to stop these dinguses from getting another tree?”

  
“Anyone who tries is grounded. No street time, no resources, no girlfriends, no social events. That's an order.” Bruce stated sternly.

  
“... Fine.” All groaned.

  
“Sorry guys.” Cass said stiffly.

  
Dick smiled warmly after noticing her guilt. They were all being a little selfish. “Not your fault, Cass. This… This is a very nice faux tree.”

  
“Big of you.” Babs smiled up at him.

  
“Sorry we were such bad big birds and bats.”

  
“Speak for yourself.” Damian muttered.

  
“You sent dogs to attack Jason!”

  
“He insulted mother!”

  
And just like that, they were onto other matters, because that was how people in their lives worked. Distracted and focused.

 


	4. Office Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the fourth day of Christmas, Bruce Wayne goes to his office party with two intentions.

Bruce wasn’t sure what compelled him to even want to go to the Wayne Enterprises holiday party. In all his years as acting CEO, he never went. His idea of involvement in the holiday party was to simply sign the bountiful Christmas bonus checks and leave it at that. Because the bonuses were so grand for all employees from janitors to chairmen, nobody really cared he was absent and sang his praises as he was gone. He hadn’t actually been to one since the year before his parents died. His father used to take him every year to meet the Santa that inevitably always came after dinner. They would feast on a meal that they weren’t allowed to brag about in front of Alfred. Music played and people laughed. Thomas Wayne would mutter humorous gossip about his coworkers. It was all in good fun though and Bruce liked knowing secrets.

Then the world turned upside down and Bruce no longer cared much for Christmases. When he first took Dick in, he considered maybe taking him since the boy clearly adored Christmas and craved that level of cheer, but he couldn’t bring himself to attend the party without his father. In fact, he usually checked on things as Batman from across the street. He would wallow in his mourning over not having his parents on Christmas and guilt for not being able to be there for Dick.

Alfred tried to get him to do differently for Jason, Tim, and Cass, but it never happened. He took small strides in the Christmas department, but never made it to taking the kids to the party. To be fair, the party had transformed from a kid-friendly event and into a much more final affair. It reminded him of the galas he had to regularly attend to make face.

His hands were kind of tied this year.

“I think I’m going to attend the holiday party this year.” Bruce said simply as he sifted through one of his closets for a proper suit.

“What holiday party, sir?”

He turned to him, eyebrow cocked in confusion. “You know, the office party?”

“Who’s office?”

“My office?”

“In the Batcave?”

He rolled his eyes. “Wayne Enterprises. You know, the company I own?”

“I do recall the merger when your father was in charge. I also remember there being a holiday party every year for a while. I do not, however, recall seeing you attend one in the past 30 years.”

“It’s been a successful economic year. And I’m running for mayor. I think I owe my constituents some face time.”

“Master Bruce, do you have a fever? Shall I get you some medicine? Or is it more severe than that?”

“I feel fine, Alfred, really. Do you not think this is a good idea?”

“That’s why I’m concerned. It sounds very much like a good idea.”

“Yes, well, Selina thought so too.”

“Ah.”

“What?”

“This is a Batman thing, isn’t it?”

“What gave it away?”

“You have perused through several worthy suits for such an occasion and the one you are going with is your tear-away suit. That, and Miss Kyle has never been a fan of willingly spending time with the elite unless there is something in it for her.”

“Selina doesn’t always operate that way.”

“Oh no? And you aren’t just saying that because of your history?”

“We’ve never dated.”

“No, but that hardly means anything when it comes to your relationships, sir. How many of the girlfriends you publicly dated were of true love?”

“You’re starting to sound soft, Alfred.”

“I’m a lover and a fighter, Master Wayne.”

“Hm.” He pondered, amused.

“The holidays are a very romantic time of year.”

“And hard.” He knew his connotation with the holidays were negative, but Selina’s were worse. She’d never had anyone. She had no memories of bright Christmas mornings filled with laughter and excitement. She never knew what it was like to be embraced and cared for. She never knew goodwill and it was remarkable that she had any good in her. He thought the same of Jason, Cassandra and Damian.

“Indeed, but the best way to get through bad memories is to make good ones.”

“You’ve been saying that for years.”

“Perhaps one day you’ll listen to me.”

Bruce shut his closet door and sighed. He was 40 years old and wasn’t getting any younger. He often wondered how long he would be able to continue the physical aspects of being Batman. He wasn’t anywhere near ready to hang up the cape and cowl now, but when would enough be enough? Sadly enough, he always assumed he’d be dead by now.

Instead, he was a lot farther along than he’d ever dreamed. He was running for public office, the Batman was as competent as ever, and he as a father of several children.

His oldest was hopefully going to get married someday soon to a great girl who was already like a daughter to Bruce. Seriously, his children were supposed to be better than him and he was not a fan of the wait. He deserved big love.

His second oldest was a rebel and liked to act like everything in the world didn’t bother him, when he knew he soul was burdened. Hopefully, these burdens would stick forever and he learned what kind of hero he was.

His third oldest was a stressed out genius that was hopefully going to college soon unlike his other two. Both were also smart, but not meant for further schooling as he was. He wanted big things for him.

His daughter was quiet and calculating, but was the most thought. He was positive that she could omit more in looks than anyone ever could with words. She would exceed in anything she did and if she chose to fall in love, whoever it was would have to be worthy of her empathy.

His youngest and most aggressive was always keeping him on his toes. He was still very much a little boy with little boy needs as well as the need to remove his assassin tendencies. He would grow to be a strong man one day.

They wouldn’t always need him. Sometimes, he needed them more than the other way around, particularly with Dick and Jason. Bruce wondered where that left him. He and Selina had back and forth for as long as he could remember. When he dared to picture a future beyond the scopes of the week, he hoped she would be there too.

Maybe tonight wouldn’t be completely about work.

* * *

 

  
The booze were flowing, the cheer was evident, and words were flying once everyone discovered Bruce Wayne himself was making an appearance. Apparently the head of a company being present at the staff holiday party put no one at ease.

“Figure out which one of these nerds is the poacher?” Selina asked as she took another flute of champagne from a waiter.

They were trying to track down a serial poacher who had taken to scalping the animals and stringing their bloody skins throughout the city. The worst part was, they’d taken to up the ante by going for humans. Their attempted prey was a tech advisor for Wayne Enterprises and Bruce had been able to narrow it down to 12 people based on the fact that only those people had clearance, worked that day, and entered within the alleged time window as the victim stated they used the retinal scan to get into the lab even though she couldn’t see them.

They called themselves “the Hunter”.

Selina’s interest piqued when she heard they’d been especially gunning for felines. Even after they moved on to bigger prey, she stayed on to help. He appreciates the company.

The party was held, as per usual, in the grand ballroom of “The Convergence” aka one of Gotham’s finest privately owned hotels. Bruce thought the name was a little odd, but it was a nice place.

“Hunter.” He corrected.

“Isn’t hunting supposed to be commendable and good for society to prevent overpopulation? Let’s call this spade for spade.”

“Fair.” He agreed and sipped his own drink. Sometimes he felt that the intensity of the monsters of Gotham only increased with his presence.

“This is a monster that would like to try again and perhaps in a more public place. I have about 30 armed guards intermixed with guests here.”

“Oooh what are their backstories?”

“They’re off-site members of Wayne Enterprises. They travel for the business. This is a tech conglomerate. It doesn’t make sense for us not to have them.”

“But you don’t.”

“Are you looking for a job?”

“You know I can’t stay away from the big bad bat for too long.” She smirked.

He felt a chill go down his spine and he was sure it wasn’t related to the snow outside.

Bruce glanced wistfully through the merriment and joy expressed via inside jokes and memories of his employees. They were polite to Bruce and grateful he was a decent boss, but none of them knew him and they knew that. They were all strangers. Sometimes he wished he could have such relationships of the normal variety. If he didn’t have his other coworkers of his other job, he might.

He looked back to Selina and how stunning she looked in her flowing ruby gown. Her eyes looked like they were orbs that were entranced by him. A Christmas song he didn’t recognize played in the background, but it was white noise to him.

“You okay, big guy?”

“Yes.” He paused. “No.”

“Oh that clears things up.”

“I haven’t been to one of these since my father died. I used to go with him. It was different then.”

“Less stuffy?”

He snorted. “Definitely. He was close with all of his employees. I know their histories and their records, but I don’t know them.”

“You’re better than most bosses. Then again, I’ve always been my own boss. I’m my own biggest critic. I’ve been fired and everything.”

“Do you want to dance?” He asked suddenly. “I want to get closer to the other side of the room without being obvious.”

“You don’t need to be so romantic all of the time.”

“I try to tamper it at times.” He smiled as they began to sway.

“I never liked Christmas music.”

“No?”

“It’s annoying and repetitive. It’s a bunch of pitchy kids, pitchy adults or pitchy chipmunks singing about Santa and jingle bells.”

“Don’t forget the sad one about shoes.”

“Well, they need to throw us sad folk a relative bone.”

“Dick cries whenever he hears it. It’s a whole ordeal.” He smiled. “Poor kid was a mess at his school Christmas party in 7th grade.”

“What’d you do?”

“I was never the best with sensitive situations believe it or not… especially in relation to Christmas.”

“I am so shocked.”

“I figured. Well, Alfred comforted him mostly, but I took him out that night, told him to suit up…”

“Kicking ass to get the pain away.”

“Not exactly. I took him to the children’s hospital and we visited kids. I don’t know why I thought of it, but it helped. Now, we do it when we can. It’s not just for the holidays.”

Selina was silent.

“Was that too revealing?”

“Touching, actually?” She smiled lightly. “It shouldn’t surprise me though.”

“Why?”

“Because despite the corny tear-away suit and broody exterior, you have a very big heart, Bruce Wayne.”

He was unsure when they became the only people in the room to him, but even the music was lost on him.

“Come over for Christmas this year.”

“What?”

“It’s not my thing and it isn’t yours either, but I’d like it if you came.”

“Playing house for the holidays huh?”

“Think about it.” He said as he snapped back into reality in time to notice the suspicious behavior of one of the head chairmen. “I’ll be back.”

Years ago, she would have panicked and ran out after lashing out on him for displaying any semblance of intimacy. She would have secretly found his story endearing but found some way to twist his words. She would have maybe scratched him, because she hated the idea of being pulled close. When someone holds you close enough, they can let you go and down. However, Selina wasn't as young as she was either. 

Maybe time was better to them than they thought.

“I’ll be here.” She said quietly. “And there.”

“Good.”

They could never have the lives these people did, but in the end, they didn't really want to.


	5. Beards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the fifth day of Christmas, Damian tries to get revenge.

Damian was perched in the next building over from his alleged thief’s main hangout. It surprised him that criminals could be so foolish in their repetitive nature. He would normally leave such a simple case to the police, but there was something insidious about this man that he didn’t trust the authorities had a handle on. For some reason, for as much as there was incessant and ridiculous over-exaltation about this time of year, there was an equal amount of destruction and malevolence. He did not understand the appeal of “normal” people and their mundane lives.

Normal was overrated. He had no desire for it.

Some variation of cheerful choir music blared throughout the entire facility and while he’d never heard any of it before, it was so beat into his brain now that he could recite it all word for word. He may or may not have contemplated on requesting that Gordon or Drake to hack into the stereo system to shut it off altogether. That would let them know his whereabouts though and that was completely out of the question.

Technically, he was supposed to be at school that day. He knew he wasn’t missing anything outside of cutting out snowflakes or other mind-numbing activities that weren’t worthy of his time. The imbeciles that called themselves educational professionals would surely engage in yet another altercation with him on the matter and Father would be pulled out of work to have another conversation with them.

Surely, if Drake found out about Damian’s not attending school, he would run straight to Father and tell him of the situation. Then, Damian would have to go back to school and be ultimately useless to everyone while they worked. Gordon wouldn’t tell Father, but the guilt and supervision she would place on his investigation would serve the purpose of getting him back to school. He considered bringing Todd on, but he was reckless and went in guns blazing. While Damian more than respected acting in violence when necessary, Todd had a tendency to do so without tactile planning. Besides, Damian did not want much attention drawn to them if possible. He didn’t invite Brown simply because he didn’t feel like dealing with her never-ending chatter in which the conversation only ever seemed to result in his rise in blood pressure. Cain would have been ideal in the sense that she was quiet, stealthy, and as confused by the general public as he was, but she was working with Father on a separate mission unknown to Damian.

So, he enlisted Grayson.

In truth, Grayson was actually his first choice, but he had to go through this lengthy explanation to avoid any emotional conversation taking place. Especially since this was a stakeout, he did not want to be stuck in such a situation. He would not lash out as he would with Brown, but it would frustrate him to no end.

He hummed along to a song called “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”, occasionally singing out some of the words. Damian thought the song was entirely inappropriate and lacked respect for one’s elders, but he didn’t stop him. As little as he wanted to admit it, Grayson had a somewhat enjoyable voice and it was much better than the idiot that sang that original version. If he were to sing a song like that around his Grandfather, Damian knew that he would be scrubbing the floors of the training rooms for weeks.

Perhaps the freedom to listen to such weird songs was one of the few appealing parts of normalcy.

“Dami, not that I don’t trust your judgment, but you haven’t told me anything about this investigation or why I’m not allowed to tell anyone about it.”

“That is need to know basis.”

“Not to please seniority here, but I need to know that what we’re doing here is kosher. Also, if I’m going to help, I need to know what’s going on.”

“Fine. What are your questions?”

“Okay.” Grayson leaned forward, finishing off a hot dog he got from a cart nearby. “Why are we here?”

“To stop a series of break-ins.”

“At the mall?”

“-Tt- our suspect works at the mall.”

“What’s his name?”

“Cornelius Frank.”

“Sounds like a storybook villain.” Grayson snorted. “I wonder if his friends call him “Corny” for short.”

“I do not care to know about his friends, Grayson. He has been seen breaking in and out of several households this week.”

“Anything stolen?”

“Heirlooms.”

“What? That’s terrible. On Christmas? And he's scared children?”

“We literally live in a city where clowns run amuck.”

“Yes, but _c_ _hildren_?”

Grayson was always the most sensitive of the whole lot. He always tried to rub this off on Damian, but it rarely ever worked. If it were anyone else, it would never work. With Grayson, it occasionally did.

“I have been running leads all week and cornered him here.”

“You probably could have just given the info to Babs and she would have tracked him down super fast.”

“She never would have allowed me to miss school.”

“That’s because she’s a nerd.” He smiled though, a punch-drunk one that Damian noticed Grayson showed every time he talked about Gordon. It wasn’t mistakable and it was very annoying. Though he had to admit, seeing him happy was much better than seeing him miserable. If anyone was good enough for him, it was her.

“She would still not approve.”

“I’m surprised you care so much about this considering you’ve made it _very_ clear how little you enjoy all of this holiday stuff.” He mused. “Did he take anything in particular from you?”

“It does not bother me.” Though Damian knew this was a lie.

“It obviously does, man. You look exactly like Bruce when he’s upset. Clenched jaw, focused stare, determination, isolation.”

He swelled in pride at the thought of looking like Batman. “I’m not isolated. I brought you.”

“Because even when he’s upset and wants to deal with something entirely alone, even Bruce knows that backup is necessary at times.”

Damian huffed. “I do not need backup to take out one man. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Maybe you’re a little spooked?”

The young assassin cast a glare so deep and dark towards his older brother that any normal man would have quivered away in fear. Grayson, however, was no normal man in the slightest. He often smiled in the face of danger without the slightest fear in the world.

“So, this has nothing to do with the “nightmares” you’ve been having this week?”

“It’s not… Unrelated. I experienced a break-in last year and heard several accounts similar from children at school. I normally would not believe them, but I saw the perp. It all occurred on the same day last year and I am trying to prevent it from happening again.”

He nodded thoughtfully and patted him on the back. Damian didn’t flinch at the touch. He resisted the urge to shiver from the memories of that night. His pride was hurt more than anything else.

“I cannot tell Father, because I do not want him to think shameful of me.”

“He wouldn’t be ashamed of you solving a crime.”

“I should have gotten him that night.”

“We’ve all let perps get away and we’ve all made mistakes. The important thing, is doing everything we can to try and nab them.”

“Okay.”

“And afterwards, maybe we could see the light show they play in Central Square?”

“Hush! He’s here!”

Grayson moved forward to lean closer. Past the gigantic window display full of bright lights and shimmery silver in the shapes of various characters, their guy moved towards his typical workstation. As he did, the man came into better view for both of them.

“Wait a second. I know him.” Grayson observed, getting a full look at him. “I know him! Damian, this is…”

He looked beside him, but the boy had vanished altogether.

“Shit shit shit.” He dove off the roof to disappear into the night.

* * *

 

Damian had his target in complete view. He would show him for sneaking up on him the way he did. He wasn’t sure how he would enact his revenge for performing such a traumatic act. He figured he would likely draw this out by determining what he’d stolen from him. Even more so, it was important that his pride was bruised. How didn’t he notice him? How? How did he manage to break into his room? Why did he choose Damian’s room specifically? He had the least flashy materials.

His target took his seat in his office and was ready for the masses to approach him. Damian was no longer dressed in his Robin costume, but as a regular young boy. He blended in seamlessly in the crowd, no one knowing just what he had in store. It would surely shock everyone, but he already had all security cameras turned elsewhere earlier that evening. He would never besmirch the Wayne family crest.

“Are you in line, little boy?” A ridiculous woman in an elf costume asked him.

“Yes.” He knew he shouldn’t have glared, but playing this part was hard enough.

“Right this way down the candy cane lane!” She cheered anyway and Damian briefly wondered if she and Grayson would make good friends. Nonsense. Grayson’s cheer was actually genuine.

“Do not belittle me, woman.”

She said nothing else to him, thoroughly grasping the hint through her pointed ears. Good God, some people didn’t have lives.

He stared in focus at his target. He looked absolutely horrid in his big red suit with a stomach that protruded beyond what could healthily be possible. His beard was clearly synthetic and creating a pool of sweat around his nose. Damian couldn’t smell from there, but he knew his breath smelled.

He cringed at the memory of seeing that grin that wrapped around his face. He looked at him like it was Damian who was doing something wrong for being awoken from sleep.

 

* * *

 

_“Who are you?” He demanded, thinking out every escape route and weapon within near reach of him._

_“You’re up awful late, little boy.” He smiled that awful smile. His teeth were yellow. Damian could tell in the dim lighting. “Where do you keep your presents?”_

_“If you do not vacate this property within the next three seconds, I will create a kebab out of your body.”_

_“That is not nice!” He looked genuinely afflicted by this, this retaliation. It was ridiculous and unfair. Damian likely had proper jurisdiction to do whatever was necessary, but it was the man’s next act in combination to his sleep deprivation that froze him and allowed him to wander down the hall._

_He knelt in front of him and pulled a bell out of his pocket, ringing it. He smiled that ugly grin and walked off. Damian stood there, listening for what would happen next, hoping it was all a dream, but there were footprints all throughout the Manor. No one seemed bothered by this and they didn’t speak of it. He waited all week for Father to present some kind of case against the intruder. Instead, nothing happened because of it and he was left to his own guilt of allowing himself to watch a criminal go free when there had been almost no physical intimidation._

_Damian realized he was on his own._

* * *

 

“Ho ho ho! And what’s your name, little boy?” There it was. His voice matched perfectly. There was no absence of cheer. Why did he seem so happy? He shouldn’t have been. Did he not recognize him?

“We need to talk.”

He was unwillingly placed on his lap, but Damian knew how this went. He knew what happened typically when children did this, so he did his best not to cringe or accuse him of pedophilia. Then again, he wouldn’t be surprised about it. He was breaking into little boy’s rooms at night and walking through their houses. It was beyond weird.

“Oh? What can I get you for Christmas?”

“Revenge.”

“Of the Sith? There are better _Star Wars_ movies.”

“No.” He said so no one else could hear. “I demand you and I duel right here right now. You must pay for your crimes.”

“My…”

He swung his finest punch to the throat to disable the man for the time being. Just as he did so, the camera flashed and what was likely an interesting picture flashed on the screen. He whipped out he sword and sliced the beard clean off of his face. Children everywhere screamed and adults tried to move forward desperately. He barded them off with little stress. He didn’t know why he thought he would need help with all of this. Grayson was nowhere to be found and Damian was getting his own brand of revenge, needing no one to hold his hand.

“THAT IS NOT SANTA CLAUS!” One girl shrieked into the audience. Other kids swarmed off in a crowd of insanity, which allowed Damian to pin the man down.

"What are you doing? Uncle! Uncle!"

Damian didn't know behind the meaning behind this strange plea. "I will strike you for dishonoring me last Christmas."

"Dis... Who are you?"

"You don't even know the names of your targets? How foul. Tell me this: what do you get out of breaking and entering and shaming little boys in the midst of the night?"

He was sobbing now, which looked utterly ridiculous with the half-beard on.

“Any last words?”

“I… I didn’t…”

“Poor choice.” He raised his sword to cut off his hand.

His hand was grasped by the wrist and in a surprise twist of events, he was thrown across the room in a rush. He landed in a pile of fake snow, which was constructed by feathers and glitter. He wanted to vomit. Immediately, he assumed those pesky elves were behind this. Why in the world did anyone like Santa Claus? He was a wormy bastard that broke into people's homes, stole, and attempted to frighten children. Unluckily for him, Damian had tracked him down and cornered him as he was likely trying to get more spots to hit at night. He hopped up, ready to ward off whatever demonic little beings were waiting for him.

Nightwing stood in front of him in all his tight costumed glory. He looked like a combination of embarrassed and guilty.

“Kid, we need to talk.”

"Nightwing! You don't understand! This is-"

"-Not who you think." He said quickly.

He turned to Damian’s prey. “Sorry, man.”

Before he could object, he was whisked away to the roof of the building.

“What the hell are you doing? I had him! You said we need to do whatever we can to-”

“-I arranged him.”

“What…”

“I arranged that Santa came to the Manor last year in an efforts to try and get you in the Christmas spirit. I realized my mistake when you said nothing of it and seemed to hate Christmas even more.”

“So… So, you did this?”

“He was supposed to deliver presents, let you catch a glance… Ignite the magic.”

“There was no witchcraft.”

“I… I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I didn’t realize this was who you meant when you said you were studying a break in.”

“But… But the other kids…”

“Rich kids and their parents all have similar connections. I’m kind of ashamed I didn’t go more creative. I should of just dressed up.”

“Nonsense. Then I would have been killing you.”

“Are you mad?”

“Very.”

“So, this means you believed in Santa and that he was Santa.”

“He… Was very convincing. Though, I will say I did not realize he was an imposter. He was very sinister. I assumed he stole when Father said jewelry went missing.”

“Pretty sure that was just Selina. Or, he is a thief too, but in this economy? The week before Christmas? I say we let it go.”

“We are already rich.” He nodded. “I feel stupid.”

“Don’t.” Grayson smiled earnestly. “Christmas is different for everyone and I shouldn’t have pushed it on you. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Tell anyone about this, Grayson and I will have Gordon break up with you.”

“Good luck.” He smiled smugly. “She can’t get enough of all _this_.”

“I assure you, she probably can.”

“So… Light show?”

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely inspired on the It's Always Sunny episode where Charlie freaks out on Santa lol


	6. Mistletoeing the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the sixth day of Christmas, Steph had zero chill with mistletoe.

"So, we have a problem." Stephanie grunted as she struggled to deflect one of Cassandra's swipes from her escrima sticks. They'd been heavily sparring for the past twenty minutes and it was visibly obvious that the blonde had something on her mind. She was distant and less intuitive to Cassandra's offensive attacks. She'd been knocked down and slapped across the face several times. Cass was typically better at hand-to-hand combat than her, but there was usually some level of competition. Instead, she was getting her ass handed to her with ease in a way that was no longer remotely amusing for the brunette. 

"I can tell. I'm not even tired and you're losing terribly. I think there's something wrong with your form."

She leaned on her staff and released a labored breath. She, on the other hand, was quite tired and sweaty. "My form is fine. I'm just distracted."

"About what?"

"I... Kind of messed up."

"Does this have anything to do with the decorations Alfred asked you to get?"

Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. "How'd you guess?"

"What else do you have going on?"

"Harsh, Cass."

"Sorry."

"But yes, if you  _must_ know-"

"-You're the one who started this conversation."

"It's an expression."

"Oh." She didn't always understand the intentions of people's language. What was the point of starting a conversation and trying to make it seem like someone asked you all the questions? Cass would have been fine to let everyone in her family continue about their business without being nosy or perusing through their private lives. However, everybody else was overly curious and needed to know everything. Since nobody talked about their feelings, sans for maybe Dick and Steph, everyone snooped around instead.

"Everything was going just fine! The order slip came in and I checked off everything he asked me. Lights, signs, indoor decor... You name it."

"What is the problem, then?"

"This is my first Christmas with Timmy."

"Yes?"

"And I wanted it to be romantic."

Cass always thought that Christmas was automatically romantic if one wanted it to be. It consisted of pretty lights, cuddling by the fire, and reminiscing on love and goodwill towards others. Well, that's the version Dick told frequently. Tim wasn't as big of a romantic and more awkward by nature, however, so she could understand why Steph would feel the need to write out a play-by-by for them. The two balanced each other out well though, because Stephanie could always be guaranteed to go overboard with this kind of thing.

"So what did you do?

"I had an ace in the hole."

She blinked. "An ace in the hole?"

"Yes, a guarantee if you will."

"Okay?"

"It's mistletoe."

"The kissing plant?"

"Yes."

"What's the big deal?"

"I ordered a little more than I intended."

"How much?"

"I ordered 30 sprigs."

Her eyes widened. "That... Is a bit excessive."

She frowned. "One for every single doorway in the Manor! It's not that ridiculous."

"I'm missing the problem."

"... I may have had a typo in my order."

"What's that?"

"I didn't realize they were  _cases_ of mistletoe that I was signing up for. So, instead of getting a totally manageable 30 sprigs of mistletoe, I'm really getting 3000 sprigs of mistletoe."

It was Cassandra's turn to seem shocked. "Wow."

"That's not the end."

"What is the end?"

"Clearly, Alfred doesn't have the time in his day to set up all the extra decorations he bought. He asked me to get servicemen to do it."

"Oh boy."

"And on my form I requested Mistletoe for every room."

"When do they come?"

She bit her lip. "3 hours ago."

"Stephanie!"

"They were so nice and handsome and by the time I realized my mistake, they'd already set it all up."

"All of it?"

She groaned. "Yes. It could happen to anyone."

"I don't think it could."

"You're supposed to be my best friend here! Support me when I'm in dire need of it, don't persecute me for my failures, stand by me during my greatest struggles without judgment."

Cass pursed her lips in suspicion. "I'm your best friend?"

"I... I'm not?"

"It isn't that. I just never considered myself someone to have a "best" friend."

"Oh, well I think you're my best friend."

After a long pause, a smile fluttered to her face. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"If it were to be anyone, it only makes sense that it's you. We are at somewhat comparable ages, have several commonalities of daily living that bonds us, and I do not find your sense of humor irritating. Plus, I see you a lot. It is only fitting that you are my best friend too then."

"Glad we sorted that out. What should I do?"

"100 pieces of mistletoe hanging in every room of the house? Including the bathrooms?"

"It looks like grass on the ceiling in the bathrooms." She winced. 

"Why did you even want to put it in the bathrooms anyway? Who are you going to be kissing on the toilet?"

"I... I don't know! I just wanted a sure thing."

"I think you are mistaking this holiday for Valentine's day."

"I panicked, okay?"

"I'll say. Do you really want to kiss my brother 3000 times?" She wrinkled her nose. She might have not considering this when she accepted the idea of Stephanie being her best friend. Being friends with someone that was dating your brother could create a conflict of interest.

"I'm just trying to give him a lot of opportunities to ask." Steph didn't mind being the pusher of romance. Tim simply wasn't that good at initiation and deciding the right moment to initiate. He was best at saying and doing cute things when he didn't realize he was doing it. It was the little things. That being said, romantic gestures of this variety were something she always wanted to experience. After all, she didn't have a ton of picture-like examples of love before this.

"Why does this matter so much to you?"

Without answering her verbally, she walked over to her backpack and pulled out a purple notebook. Everything Steph had the option of choosing was purple. On the front of the book was the cliche word "diary". Instead of opening it and reading it as she expected, she handed it over to Cass. A couple years ago, this might have made her incredibly insecure, but everyone knew she was becoming the most exercised reader of all of them. Whenever she had downtime she was always seen with a book. 

 _"5 Must Kiss Moments That Would Make Hallmark Movies Jealous."_ She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde. 

"I've been thinking of getting a side gig of working for buzzfeed."

_"Number 1: Disneyworld/land near Cinderella's castle as the fireworks go off."_

"A must have." Steph gushed. "That also made my  _"Top 5 Proposals That Will Make Her Knees Go Weak"_ list."

_"Number 2: New Years Eve at the Stroke of Midnight"_

"Duh."

_"Number 3: Upside Down Like Spider-Man"_

"Don't pretend you haven't thought of it."

_"Number 4: Underwater in a Lagoon"_

"Not sure where I'll find a nearby lagoon in Gotham."

_"Number 5: Under the mistletoe."_

"I just want to have a big moment, you know? My parents weren't in love or anything like that and I've never dated nice guys before Tim. I want what people in movies have, Cass? Or at the very least what Dick and Babs have."

Cass handed her back the notebook, resisting the urge to read further. She understood better now. "Does Alfred know yet? You know he is very particular about the way things look-"

A door slammed from above them. Despite the cave being several layers of rock, foundation, and dirt beneath the base of the manor, Alfred's subsequent gasp and uncharacteristic shriek could be heard clear as day. 

"Maybe?" She answered weakly. "He could just not like the color arrangement."

"MISS STEPHANIE!" 

"Crap."

"Can I have your clothes if you die?" Cass asked.

"You wouldn't defend my honor?"

"Fight Alfred? Never."

Stephanie couldn't argue with that and released a puff of air before walking past her friend and opted to take the elevator up to the manor. As it climbed the floors, she leaned against the rail, still holding her staff, and awaited her fate. 

When the doors slid open, she was met with a red-faced Alfred Pennyworth. Behind him, a forest of mistletoe littered the ceiling. She should have known by now not to mess with him and his decorations. He was very particular on the way things looked. It was why they always looked exactly the same every year. Well, this year there was definitely a notable difference.

"What is the meaning off all of this?"

"Romance is in the air?" She tried and moved off the elevator. 

It was a little much. It was impossible to walk without being stuck under the mistletoe with someone. She side-stepped away from Alfred to avoid that awkward interaction and she was realizing why this was even worse. What were her odds of solely being stuck under it with Tim? Very slim, it seemed.

"Why on earth would you order so much foliage?"

"It was an accident, I swear! I didn't realize they were arriving by the case."

"Oh boy." He breathed. "This looks ridiculous."

"Would you feel better if I told you it was all for love?"

"No." 

"That was a pretty spot on Tim Curry impression, if it helps."

"It does not."

"I'm sorry. This does look like we put green and red carpet on the ceiling. I just wanted a sprig for every room."

"Even the bathrooms?"

"I'm not sure why that's everyone's focus. Look, I'll take it all down, I swear. I just wanted a special moment this year. This might be my only chance."

"And why would that be the case?"

"Relationships in my family don't have an extensive history of lasting."

"Master Tim doesn't give up easily."

"I'm not easy either, though."

"Obviously not, Miss Stephanie." He huffed and looked around again. "Obviously not."

The front doors swung open and Dick, Babs, and Tim all walked in, eyes widening upon seeing the spectacle. 

"Holy Mistletoe, Batman!"

Almost completely in reaction, Dick quickly took Babs in his arms and dipped her with ease.

"Feliz Navidad, Mon Cherie." He planted a firm kiss on her mouth without hesitation.

"That was a mixture of Spanish and French, Bilingual Wonder." She replied, but the smile on her face was evident. As he let her rise to her feet, she looked around in confusion.

"Alfred, this really doesn't seem like your style."

"I like it." 

"Of course  _you_ do." She rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "You're sappier than the tree."

Tim, however, seemed to already deduce that she was the one behind it. He didn't say anything though. He just smiled a little from the corners of his mouth knowingly.

"You know." He cleared his throat. "I think we should keep it up for the week. It might be a little much, but it could help Bruce to make a move on Selina."

Alfred's eyes brightened a bit. "Do you figure?"

"Yeah. I think she'd go for it. Bruce is bringing her over for Christmas."

"God, I fear for Master Damian to catch wind of that."

"Or view of them kissing it up." Steph added. "But it is time they made a move."

"This does make my life easier on Christmas." Dick mused. "I don't have to run around carrying the mistletoe now. Say, did you place any in my usual bedroom?"

Babs elbowed him pretty hard. Tim continued on.

"I think it spreads a good message. Love. That's what the holidays are all about, right?"

Stephanie beamed at him. "I think so too."

 

 


	7. Eight Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the seventh day of Christmas, Kate reflects on the 8 nights of Hanukkah.

**~1~**

Nightfall clouded over Gotham City like a light switch had been flicked. Her eyes scanned over to the Menorah that sat perched in front of her window, ready to begin fulfilling the symbolism of the protection their ancestors felt many years ago. It wasn't supposed to be just her this year or this evening, but Bruce didn't have a great history of showing. One of the kids usually dropped by, one at a time, and she always wondered if she was becoming the lame aunt that they felt they needed to check up on. After all, none of the boys were Jewish and she was certain that Bruce wasn't practicing anymore, but it was their lineage. Even if she wasn't the type to believe in all-knowing beings or prophecy, she believed in tradition and the need to believe in something. She thought about the days when they were kids and the holidays were infinitely simpler. Life was always brighter when looking through the eyes of children. Even if it wasn't always perfect, optimism and hope were in easier reach. Bruce was happier as a child. He was never outgoing or open, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was content.

She rose to light the first candle and gazed out the window of her apartment as she held the open flame. 

Her aunt wasn't much of a cook, but she could make delectable latkes. Bruce always said he wasn't a big fan of pancakes without syrup, but Kate ate them up. Alfred gave her the recipe he found not long after her aunt and uncle were murdered in cold blood. She never made them with the exception of Hanukkah. Whenever she did, it was like the memories of the past came to life as the wonderful scents filled the air. 

The first candle was lit and she mumbled blessings 1, 2, and 3.

Outside, there was a group of neighborhood boys playing a pickup game of football in the streets. There was an obvious innocence to their merriment, given they were no older than 12. Gotham was a dangerous place full of terrible people and a congested amount of unhappiness. She saw that every night she decided to wear the mask that many reveled and others feared. It was the quiet moments that befell over the city that reminded her what she fought for, what she celebrated that evening.

She poured herself a glass of wine, popped in a corny romantic comedy, and fell asleep as she finished off the latkes she made the other day.

 

**~2~**

As expected, one of the kids popped by to visit. Dick was always the most festive of the group and while he wasn't Jewish, willingly participated in all activities. She never let him anywhere near the oven, because that was a death wish, but he was always interested in playing games and watching movies and when he got older, lighting the candle. It was a nice change of pace having such happy company. In her line of work accompanied with her extracurricular activities, this was difficult to find. It was to no surprise that most of their community were big fans of her oldest adopted nephew. 

"Hey Aunt Kate!" He grinned as he climbed through her other window, careful to avoid the one with the lit Menorah. All of the kids never used the front door. She suspected they rarely used the doors in their own home when they didn't need to, but this time, Dick was actually dressed as Nightwing. That didn't mean he wasn't holding a box covered in blue wrapping paper and little dreidels all over. "I got you a not-so-Christmas Christmas sweater."

"How does that work, Nightwing?" She asked after hugging him when his feet reached the ground. "And what's the point of wrapping it if you're just going to talk about it?"

"That's what she said." He giggled childishly and she laughed. Okay, maybe she wasn't the  _lame_ aunt if they were comfortable making such jokes with her.

"Just look at it!" He handed it over and she ripped the wrapping paper off and tossed it to the floor. 

"You know the presents are supposed to be for the children."

"You're a child at heart." 

"Deck the Halls with Matzo Balls." She read off the thick blue sweater.

"Cool, right?"

"I should know by now not to trust you with fashion, Dick."

"Rude." He stuck his tongue out. "You know I wore my Nightwing costume because it's so festive."

"And here I thought you just liked looking at your own ass when you hop by mirrors."

"That's just a bonus."

"I will say, I am glad you aren't trying to pose your way into the red club anymore. It just didn't work for you."

"You're all too broody for me." He mumbled as he sat down at the kitchen table. She laid the food out on the table including roast chicken, brisket, challah and kugel. Like he did when he was a little boy, he tucked the napkin in his shirt and scooted his chair in. When she was placing the drinks on the table, she quickly tore the mask off of his face and placed it in front of him.

"Are you and Babs doing well?" She asked, speaking off the red club.

"Oh yeah, all time best. That's why I'm trying to do something incredible for Christmas."

"In case you screw up?" She cracked a smile and joined him. 

"Well... I think she deserves to know I appreciate her patience with some of my eccentricities."

"You're good kids. You'll be fine. Want my advice? Marry her. Marry her and don't let her go, because all of this? All of this holiday nonsense isn't anything without love." 

Dick stared at her like he was looking threw her. He always did have such kind eyes and it made his gaze all the more intense. His voice, however, was soft. "Where's Maggie?"

She played with her food for a moment, choosing not to look at those curious blue eyes.

Never a fan of silence, Dick spoke again. "Kate?"

She cleared her throat. "Not all heroes get the girl, Dick. So do us all a favor, and be the change of that theory."

**~3~**

Jason was the next to arrive on the scene. Most would assume he was blackmailed or bribed, but she knew otherwise. Of all her nephews, she actually saw Jason the most. The "club red" thing was mostly a joke, but to them, it was a reality in a sense. She always bonded the most with the most rebellious Robin. She knew he tried to hold up some semblance of a tough guy act, but it was mostly just that to her, an act. They frequented the same dive bars after long nights keeping the streets safe. She was his wingman sometimes when he really needed one. Jason was attractive in the way Judd Nelson was while Dick was attractive in the way Rob Lowe was. You knew both were, but Jason's appeal focused more on his mystique and ruggedness whereas Dick's was more overt.

"I always liked Hanukkah better than Christmas." Jason said as he took his turn lighting a candle. 

"Are you saying that to kiss ass?"

"When have I ever kissed ass?"

"Just about every time you've wanted something."

"I'm being serious this time." He assured her. "Christmas is everywhere. It's like a confetti cannon. I'd probably like it more if you didn't have people picketing the idea of Starbucks taking Christmas trees off their coffee cups."

"People... Are passionate about what they believe in." She nodded. "Particularly when they feel they are being discriminated against."

"How could anyone who celebrates Christmas think they're being discriminated against? It's everywhere! Excuse some people for trying to make room for others. No wonder the depression rate goes so sky-high around the holidays! It's not everyone's holiday!" He threw back another beer. Jason always got on his soapbox after about 4 beers. It was a good thing he hopped rooftops instead of riding his motorcycle over this time.

"Some people are set in their ways, Jay. What's important is what we believe and to stick to our own individualism."

"Amen!" He pointed at her and took another swig before kicking back on her couch. She couldn't even count the amount of times he fell asleep on her couch. Maggie found him endearing and they would always wake up to him making everyone eggs. She never got how he ate eggs when hungover. Kate was rarely ever hungover, given she could drink any sailor under the table. When she was hungover, however, she was always looking for milkshakes and french fries. Still, having the rambunctious presence of youth was always a gift in its own way. Jason supplied excellent entertainment. 

"So, what do you believe in?" He asked. "I know you aren't really into all of this religion stuff."

"I'm not... Not into it though." She remarked. "I'm an overly logical person by nature, but I do believe big parts of it as well as tradition. What about you?"

He fell silent. "I don't know."

"Well... You died before. What did you see?"

He stared into the distance as if he was looking straight at his own ghosts. The expression that dawned on him broke her heart.

"You don't have to answer that."

"Just darkness." 

"Darkness?"

"I didn't fully die, so I can't confirm that there isn't a God or if Jesus really is or isn't the messiah. I can't say that or anything like that. I don't know if this is all wrong or if any religion is right. It was this weird blur. I was meant to come back and any deity would know that, right?"

"Right."

"So I would never have gotten a glimpse into the beyond. It felt like hell though."

"What do you mean?"

"Hell is loneliness, K. Hell is loneliness."

**~4~**

Cassandra was a surprise visit. She was quite elusive and never spoke much, even in comparison to Bruce. She imagined that was why they got along so well. It wasn't that they didn't get along, but most of the time they spent together was accompanied with Babs as a buffer. She didn't speak much then either, but the younger redhead had a good understanding of her body language and intentions.

She was silent when she dropped through the window and lit the candle without even setting Kate off that anyone was in the room. It wasn't until she heard a soft mumbling of the first two blessings that she was suddenly very aware that she wasn't alone. She turned around from her position in front of her kitchen sink quickly. Cass hadn't flinched at her surprise and merely finished the second blessing without interruption. 

"Cassandra?"

She waved silently.

"What brings you here?"

She still didn't answer and instead nodded at the Menorah. 

"Usually just the boys visit."

"This year is different."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes."

"Why?" She didn't mean to be a skeptic, but it was the fighter and detective in her. Cassandra would understand more than anyone. Of all the kids, her circumstances were easily the most deprived and heartbreaking. It was remarkable she was able to work herself up from where her awful parents had left her. It was like she was bred to kill and nothing more, with no other purpose. They didn't want her speaking or reading or anything that would give her hope.

"I like it."

"You like it?"

"Hanukkah." She nodded. "I like it."

"Okay. Do you want to play dreidel or something?"

"Maybe later." She sighed and then shifted in her steps. 

"Cass... What's up?"

"Can you tell me the story?"

"The story?"

"I have read and been told the story of Christmas and now I would like to hear about the story of Hanukkah."

"You're serious."

"I want to find a belief. People should have beliefs and principals if they are going to be normal."

"There is no linear bylaw to normality."

"I would still like to explore my options. It is tiring living without hope. Religion and faith gives people hope."

She smiled and leaned against her doorway. "To some."

"To you?"

"Sometimes." She sighed. "Everyone needs to be reaffirmed at times, Cass. No one has all of the answers. If you expect to see, you won't believe."

"I have been deceived by what I've been made to see. Seeing is not everything. It's overrated."

"I have a children's version of the Torah. It gives an abridged version of everything that happens."

"I don't need the children's version." 

"I didn't mean for that to be a cut, I swear." She assured. "It's just the other version I own is in hebrew."

"I can learn Hebrew?"

"I'm sure you can." She laughed. "You learned English pretty well."

"Barb helped."

"I could teach you what I know. It'll make 2 of your teachers gingers if you can live with that."

She beamed and Kate thought it might have been the prettiest smile she'd ever seen.

"Deal."

**~5~**

"Steph? I thought you prided yourself in not officially being one of Bruce Wayne's kids... And Babs. Wow. Lucky night for me."

The blonde grinned. "Actually, I came in place of Tim for the night. He said he wouldn't be able to come until tomorrow and didn't want you to be alone."

"Oh God. They really do think of me as the old auntie that needs to be looked after. I am capable of living like a normal single adult."

"Single, huh?" She touched her hand, which Kate immediately retracted. Babs sighed.

"Happy Hanukkah, Kate. I actually tagged along because I think this is a terrible idea." 

She cocked an eyebrow and looked between them. "What's a terrible idea?"

Steph clapped her hands. "I found you the perfect woman." This time, Babs groaned.

"What is it, you?" She looked to the younger redhead. "I'm not that repulsive am I?"

"You're not repulsive at all and no, it's not me." She shook her head. Babs had this piercing stare that could crack a normal person in half and was simultaneously enchanting. Clearly, whatever the young blonde had up her sleeve was something she disagreed with so strongly that she came along for the ride to watch and possibly stop the trainwreck before it began.

"What makes you think I'm interested in looking for someone?"

"Because you're alone and its Christmas-I mean Hanukkah and its a time for love and good cheer."

"You don't know anything about Hanukkah, kid, or me."

"I know that you deserve to be happy and that you're strong-willed, passionate, and love hazelnut coffee."

She wrinkled her brow and Babs clarified. "She's been stalking you."

"Why?"

"It's been a while since I had a project. Plus, Tim told me all about your rough breakup."

"You've never had a project."

"I set you and Dick up."

"We'd been together for 6 months and dated beforehand by the time you tried to set us up."

"True, I remember all of that." Kate pointed at her.

"Well, I set Cass and Conner up."

"They went on one date and broke up. I don't even think Cass wants to date."

"I can relate."

"Well... What about Jason and Roy?"

She paused. "Fine. You can have that one."

"I specialize in gay couples then."

"Don't use that as your advertising slogan."

"Fine, but come on, Kate. Let me set you up."

"Who is she?"

She squealed. "So you  _are_ interested."

"I'm a little interested, but only because I have the feeling you aren't leaving my apartment until I act interested."

"I'll take it. Most of my clients aren't totally enthusiastic upon first impression."

"Of her, not the person she's trying to set them up with."

"Got it. Well, while you try to sell me off to the highest bidding suitor, would you like some Sufganiyah?"

"God bless you."

"Seriously, did you read any of the link I sent you earlier before we came here?" Barbara asked. "I wanted you to be a little well-read before you came in here as matchmaker during the holidays."

"Babs, its cuffing season. I can't help my enthusiasm."

"Again, who is she?"

"She is a Green Lanter-"

"-Nope."

"What is with the Bats and the Lanterns?"

"Told you."

**~6~**

At last, Tim arrived as promised, bearing a gift and an apologetic look on his face. He leaned in and hugged her after entering the door. Hell, he was the only one who occasionally used the door. She guessed that was because Tim used the door even dressed as Red Robin. He walked around in that suit as if it were a dress suit and not red spandex. He had his typical bags under his eyes, though the holiday spirit was treating him well as he had brightness and color to his face. He'd been eating, thanks to Alfred, so she didn't have to stuff him up as she did sometimes. That's what her and Tim bonded over: food.

"Sorry about Steph yesterday. She's on a romance kick."

"She wanted me to be with a Lantern."

"She is pretty hot."

"We don't do Lanterns."

"Tell that to Jason."

"Him and Kyle, huh?"

And gossip. They did gossip. Sure, that was a bit out of the tradition of spirit during Hanukkah, but she enjoyed bonding with the most analytical Robin over something.

"It was a fling, but still."

"When did he become such a slut?"

"Since he missed 2 critical years of development after being resurrected. He's a horny mess sometimes. I thought Dick was supposed to be the slutty one."

"Nah, Dickie has always been a relationship man disguised in a lot of bad luck. He just seemed slutty, because he could be if he wanted to be."

"He's been acting weird lately."

"Weirder than normal in our family? Light the candle."

"Right." He handed her the gift, which was likely some variation of cookies and lit the candle. When he finished, he turned around with a smile on his face.

"Remember when you got me my first encyclopedia for my first Hanukkah? It was on criminal law. You knew I wanted to be a detective."

"You cried." She smiled softly at the memory. "You know, you're still underage, which means I'm still supposed to get you a gift."

"I'm 17."

"That's underaged, Timmy."

"Okay." He submitted.

She walked into the closet and pulled out a wrapped present.

"It's just a little something."

"It's heavy." He smirked.

"A little big something."

He tore it open like he did years ago. The look of speechlessness never got old.

"It's that same book. How'd you..."

"Bruce told me that you lost it to the fire that happened a few years ago. It's the same printing and everything."

"Oh my God. I never finished it. It's the only one in the set I never finished."

"It wasn't easy to track down-"

She was being hugged before she could finish. She was taken off guard at first, but settled on it. "I thought Dick was the hugger."

"He's rubbed off on me a little bit. Thank you."

"Happy Hanukkah, Timmy."

"Happy Hanukkah, Aunt Kate."

**~7~**

She expected Damian no more than she expected Bruce to show up. The boy rolled his eyes at just about everything, especially warm tradition. So, when he popped through the window as many of his other siblings, she was even more surprised than ever before. They rarely had words together, particularly amicable ones. She didn't have any grudges against the little boy. She knew that like Cassandra, he had a difficult upbringing to say the least. She didn't always have the patience that Dick or even Bruce had at times. It was touching to see breakthroughs happen with him, as he was better than he'd ever been. Still, he wasn't easy to spend long periods of alone time with.

"Father made me come." 

"Good to see you too, squirt."

"Do not call me that." He snapped.

"So your father made you come, huh? In his place, I take it?"

"He's Batman. He has bigger and better things to be doing."

"I am Batwoman. I can kind of understand."

"As if Batwoman could be remotely compared to the legacy of Batman. As the heir to this legacy, I find your comparison insulting."

"Watch it, kid. I could give you a mega wedgie that you'll never pick out."

"Classy."

"You've always been so full of holiday cheer, you know that?"

"Tt."

"I see that endearing trait never went away."

"I cannot be bothered with any of this. Kane, I understand you do not wish me to be here as much as I do not wish to be here. I request that we sit in silence for the next hour and then I join the others on investigating a high speed chase."

"That explains the Robin costume. The hood is your addition, huh?"

"It is practical."

"I agree. Gotta cover those ears in the chilly December."

"It is not a fashion statement!"

"Oh I beg to differ. All of you Robins are very particular about your image and individuality whether you like it or not. It's kind of ironic, considering you all choose to take the same exact name."

He scowled. "What happened to silence?"

"Counter offer: you play dreidel with me while eating donuts and we have minimal conversation. We can even keep it case related. I won't make you light any candles."

He eyed her with suspicion. "Does this dreidel require any skill?"

"Its fun."

"We likely have a very different idea of what 'fun' is."

"You're just going to have to trust me."

**~8~**

He as already there when she got home. In typical Bruce Wayne fashion, he sat there with his legs crossed in her best armchair as if he belonged there the entire time. She assumed based on the opened window that was his entryway. He was picking at a plate of latke that he'd obviously brought and seemed slightly off-put by the fact that she pulled her gun when she noticed the shadowy presence in her room. Luckily, she lowered it when she realized it was him. She considered doing otherwise after the heart attack he gave her.

"What the hell, Bruce?"

"Damian tells me you guys had fun last night."

"What are you doing in my apartment?"

"I was invited. I figured you would have lit the candles already." He nodded over.

"Since when do you care about tradition?"

"I've always cared."

She knew this was true.

"After all of this time, why is this year different?"

"Would you believe me if I told you my kids guilted me into submission?"

"Nah, you're used to the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"Fine." He smiled to his best capacity. "I missed my mom."

"I'm your cousin, you know. Did you land on your head recently?"

"Always, but no. I mean, no one makes food like my mom did."

"Bad?"

"We both know she could make a mean latke."

"Yeah, she could." She admitted, a similar smile crossing her lips.

"And you make them just like her."

"I'm guessing you've never told Alfred this."

"I don't have a death wish, Kate."

"Sometimes I think you do. I've seen your recent stunts against Joker on the news. I will not attend another Wayne funeral before I reach my 50s, Bruce."

"Is that what tonight is going to be? Chastising my recklessness?"

"It can be. Or, we can drink and brood with the occasional reference to our pasts?"

"That's a regular night for me."

"With latkes and a little prayer?"

He pointed at her. "Sounds good."


	8. Scrooged Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eighth day of Christmas, Jason gets some holiday spirit in an unexpected way.

He'd been absent from festivities for the past few days. It was purposeful, of course and everybody knew it. That didn't stop his older brother's incessant reign of annoying cheerfulness from being shoved down his throat. It didn't matter how near or far anyone was, they were always within range of Dick Grayson's exuberance. Jason resented him and the rest of his family for breezily going along with it. He hated the forced normalcy, the facade of closeness, and most of the traditions that seemed to only fuel an already overly materialistic society.

Dick didn't have a perfect life and Jason knew this. He knew it was physically impossible for someone that had been through as much as his older brother had to be that happy. He knew he lied to himself and pushed his own agenda of spirit at himself. Why he couldn't just let himself be bitter and be honest about the whole thing was what angered Jason.

He, himself, was guilty of buying into it all once. Everyone thought it was his own death that changed his tune on the holiday season, but Bruce had to know better. He just lived in denial like the rest of them. 

Jason stopped liking Christmas or anything associated with it around 8 years old when his father gave him a carton of cigarettes and shouted at him to smoke every last one. His mother, likely drunk to numb her husband's rage, sat in the corner, staring off at someone that wasn't there, a ghost maybe. He didn't smoke again until after his own death and the anxiety that boiled within him required physical tempering. He hated the holidays by the time he was fully living in the manor even though he hadn't seen his father for years by that point. There was no going back for him. There was no saving his spirit or his soul as far as he was concerned. Bruce just left it alone and likely jumped at the opportunity to not have to face his own demons that circulated around this time of year. Dick was away with the Titans, so he really didn't have to face it.

So, if it was anyone besides the almighty Oracle that radioed him, he probably wouldn't have come. He and Dick struck up a deal a few years ago that Jason could come and go as he pleases so long as he showed up Christmas Day.  He didn't even need to seem happy about it. Being called to the scene of jolly was not what they agreed. However, everyone knew he, like most of the Robins, had a soft spot for the Batgirls, particularly the original. 

"What's up, O? I'm a little busy."

He could practically see the rolling of her eyes. He was always terrible at lying to her. 

"No you aren't. You're sitting on the roof of Martha's bakery and eating a donut."

"Wrong!" He eagerly said. "I'm eating a bagel."

She snorted. "Who goes to Martha's bakery and buys a bagel?"

"Someone who missed dinner. You should be proud of my healthier choice."

"I'm no nutritionist, Hood."

"And here I thought you could do everything."

"That would be the first reasonable thing you've said in a while."

He grinned. "So, what's lover boy need?"

"I assume you're referring to Nightwing."

"Yeah, unless you have a slew of other suitors that we don't know about. Maybe of the normal variety? Less cocky? Doesn't spend more time on his hair than you do?"

He never understood how Dick Grayson, golden boy, managed to get Barbara Gordon. He knew it had been a long time coming and that their history extended before he even arrived on the scene. Hell, he knew from the moment he met her that her romantic affections were elsewhere. He didn't even need to see them interact to know that. He just never understood what the original Robin ever did to deserve it. As far as he was concerned, no one deserved her. 

"He doesn't spend that much time on his hair at all."

"But we're sticking with the not normal and cocky thing."

"To do what we do, those are simply requirements."

"Maybe so, but what does he need? I know it's gotta be big if he pulled out the big guns and got you to contact me."

"He has no shame in letting his girlfriend fight his battles, what can I say?" She teased and then her voice grew soft. "Look, I know this isn't your favorite time of year and I can understand why, but it would really mean a lot if you met Nightwing at the corner of 5th and Hartley."

"Why me? I know for a fact that Red Robin doesn't have plans. I mean, he never does, but still."

"He said it can only be you."

"How dramatic."

"A trait we all kind of inherited from our fearless leader."

"You really aren't going to tell me what this is? You know I hate surprises."

"I know you might not completely hate this if it helps."

"Wow, that's reassuring."

"Please just go. If not for him, for me."

"That was a dirty trick, Barbie." He growled. She knew he wouldn't say no.

"Field names." She gently chastised. "And I know."

So, he was off into the night, bagel abandoned for some cats to find and feast on that evening. He felt some solace in knowing someone would enjoy it. It didn't take long at all for him to meet Dick on the roof of what appeared to be a hospital. He wondered for the briefest of moments if this was an actual case, but he doubted it. There was just one thing...

"Uh, what's with the Batman getup? Is Halloween coming early?"

"You made it!" Anyone could tell this wasn't the usual Batman by Dick's smile. 

"That's not answering my question." Obviously, Bruce was alive and well if Dick was grinning like an idiot.

"I know. Believe me, this isn't my favorite outfit, but the people of Gotham are usually more excited to see Batman. I guess it's the brand."

"Yeah, it's not tight enough for you. Nor does it include colors bright enough to be seen from space."

"You saw that article too? I had STAR labs make it special."

"Alright, Dickhead. What's going on?"

"We are going to do something nice."

"Ugh."

"Don't grunt!"

"All I was told to do was be here. There was no mention of being happy about it."

He sighed. "Look, I really need you here, because one of them asked for you."

"One of who?"

"The patients." He smiled lightly. "A little boy, eight years old, says you saved him from a fire a few months back. He's a tough one, kind of reminds me of a kid I knew once."

They hopped down a ledge to a window that peered into the child's room. There was Christmas decorations strung about in a way that looked like a confetti canon unleashed it's wrath upon the room. On his bedside table were a series of get well cards accompanied by stuffed animals and balloons with similar messages attached. In bed, was the boy. He looked severely underweight with bags under his eyes and sweat on his forehead. He looked so frail. Even still, Jason remembered him.

"If I saved him, why is he here?"

Dick's smile was gone and instead he looked in with melancholy and sobriety. "Cancer. He doesn't have much time."

Jason needed a cigarette.

"He asked for Red Hood. He said he wanted to thank him for saving him and his family. I never heard of you running into fiery buildings."

"It was on the way home." He tried to play it off.

He knew he didn't believe him though.

"Talk to him, please? It would make him very happy." 

For once, Jason didn't make fun of him for tearing up. He felt tears of his own stinging his eyes beneath the mask. Wordlessly, he slipped through the window. He looked back as if to ask him if he was coming, but knew this was something he had to do alone. He slowly walked over to the small figure and gently sat on the edge of his bed. Slowly, the boy's eyes fluttered open and took in the sight in front of him.

"Johnny Walker." Jason's voice was light. "I thought I told you to stay out of trouble, huh?"

He coughed. It was shallow and it broke his heart. "I've never been good at sticking to the rules."

"You and me both."

For a moment, there was silence, just distant beeps and murmurings from other rooms.

Johnny smiled. "I'm glad you came."

"Eh, it's on my way home." Again, he was fooling no one.

"Thank you for saving my family."

Jason wanted to know what kind of cancer he had. He scanned the room for hints he wouldn't find, but he desperately needed to know if it was lung cancer or something related to that fiery night. If he'd gotten there sooner, would Johnny be here right now?

"I wish I could do more."

"It's not your fault."

"Maybe not, but part of the job is feeling guilt for things we didn't do."

"I get it. Can you do me a favor?"

Jason would eat his own arm if the kid asked him to.

"Anything."

"Look after my family when I'm gone. My dad isn't around so I was kind of the man of the house."

Boy was he thankful to be wearing a big red dome on his head. "Of course."

"Thanks, Hood."

"Only my friends usually call me that, so you're lucky we're pals."

"I know." He smiled. "Man, this sucks."

It really did.

"Doctors say I don't have but a few days and I didn't even get to see the new Star Wars."

Jason paused before reaching for his comm button on his helmet. "O? I need a favor."

* * *

 

Johnny fell asleep quickly after the movie finished. Jason didn't stay long after that. He couldn't.

Batman was crawling out of his own window as he made it to the roof.

"You okay?"

"No." Jason shook his head. "But I needed that. Do you mind if I come next year too?"

"Of course."

He went to pull out a fresh (or as fresh as a cigarette can be) cigarette, but hesitated. Every time he smoked, he felt like he was letting that bastard of a father back into his heart, one puff at a time. He stared at the box of cigarettes in his gloved hand and squeezed until it was crushed altogether. The poison that likely entrenched his lungs oozed out and onto the gravel of the roof as he intensified his grasp. Maybe, just maybe, he would actually have a New Year's resolution this year. 


	9. Egg (nog) Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the ninth day of Christmas, the girls try to bake cookies without interruption.

They'd pushed off the prospect of baking cookies for a while. Of course, Alfred's were impossible to beat and no one ever tried to compete, but the very act of making them was fun and traditional in a way that just eating them didn't suffice. Barbara had taken to making Christmas cookies around the same time she surpassed her father's cooking abilities (so, around the age of ten) and would always make a specific batch for the boys at the station for Christmas eve. Who ever said Gotham's finest and most hardworking didn't deserve a treat? Her father was almost always one of the unfortunate that worked through the holiday. She wondered if the station would combust without him if he ever chose not to work it. When Cassandra came into the picture and hadn't even learned to speak full sentences yet, she enlisted her in her cookie baking conquest. The younger girl immediately took to it and found baking to be a lot simpler than trying to communicate with people or understand the world around you. Later down the line, Stephanie was also corralled in on the tradition, particularly because she didn't come from a very positive background either and deserved fond holiday memories. Now, it went without saying that the three Batgirls all got together at some point to bake. 

It also went without saying that at least one of the boys dropped by at some point to try and butt in. It almost always ended in physical altercation of some sort. 

They'd gotten right down to it and did it right. Christmas sweaters were worn, carols filled the space in Barbara's apartment, and the sweet smells of fresh baking occupied the aroma. It was difficult to get too much work done, since they couldn't stop laughing at stupid superhero gossip. As Oracle, Barbara found out a lot and she reveled in sharing some of the funnier stuff she could spread around with her family. When it came to vaulted secrets and serious matters, she was on lock down, but when it comes to "Who has this bad haircut" or "Who slept with who", it was fun to chat about the mess that was a lot of their friend's lives. They expected the same was said about them in some variation. 

"I brought something to reign in the New Year." Steph smiled. 

"New Year's isn't for over a week." Cass said. "We haven't even gotten to Christmas."

"I just want an excuse to drink."

"You're 17." Babs chastised. "Your excuse can be when you're 21."

"Lame." She frowned. "I know a guy, too."

"Yeah, that guy is Jason." She rolled her eyes as she turned on the egg beater. 

"So you're saying I'm allowed to hit the streets and beat up bad guys on school nights, but I'm not allowed to have a little eggnog?"

"Technically, you doing both of those things is illegal." Cass remarked.

"Fine, I brought the non-alcoholic kind too. You're both fooling yourselves if you think I haven't drank before though."

"I'm under no such illusions, Stephanie, but I also refuse to get drunk with a 17 year old. It paints a pretty rough picture for me and where I'm at." She eased the egg beater out of the bowl now that the batter was silky smooth. The chocolate chips sprinkled through were the only part that was the least bit lumpy. She had half a mind to just eat the batter it looked so enticing. 

"Mmm. Tastes good." Cass sipped at the alcoholic eggnog and handed it to Barbara to try. The redhead complied and nodded in appreciation. She wasn't a frequent drinker. Her particular area of their line of work meant staying alert and available most times of the day. Getting drunk often didn't allow for such necessary clarity. However, the Irish part of her held true and she could hold her booze quite well when the time came. 

"Tell Jay its not bad."

"Or you could just tell me yourself." The familiar cocky tone came from the window and sure enough, Red Hood sans helmet was standing there. "You guys haven't even finished one batch yet?"

"Yeah, its a little early for your bullshit." 

"Sheesh, Steph. I'm never buying you alcohol again."

"You act like you didn't charge me double the price!"

"Seriously?" Cass frowned. "It is so much easier to get than that."

"Its fine. I've always liked cookie dough better than the final product anyway."

"Jason Todd, if you take one more step towards this bowl, I will crack that dome over your dome."

He held his hands up in defense. "Relax, Barbie, I just want a little taste."

"We all know you're incapable of that."

"That sounded dirty."

"You know what else is dirty?"

"I feel like I shouldn't answer that."

"You're probably right." Barbara smirked. "You likely would have gotten it wrong, because the right answer is: you."

Before he could blink, his helmet was shoved over his head by the ever-silent and quick Cassandra. To his surprise, it was caked with soil and dirt from one of her windowsill plants. To her credit, it was already dead. 

"What the-? How did you even manage to **_(spit)_** get all of this **_(spit)_** shit in here?"

"You were too busy flapping your gums to notice Cass and you know it."

He slowly began to remove the helmet until Barbara stopped him. "You're definitely not getting any cookies if you get your mud on my floor."

"What?" His pitch was high and the girls laughed. "My dirt? Cass dumped it on me."

"And you were too slow to react."

"Your fault." Though she patted Jason's arm sympathetically. "Cookies later."

"You know, you're not going to be able to just throw dirt at the other two."

"We'll be ready for them." Steph assured him. "Now, why don't you make yourself useful and go stick some seeds in that helmet of yours. It'll be the first active thing to go on in there for a long time."

"I thought you people were all about holiday cheer and all that crap."

"I know you're still learning what that means, but stealing is not a part of it." 

He spit some more and then groaned. "Fine, fine, fine. I'll wait until you're done and ready. I'll get you guys some day."

"Sorry about the mess." Cass sighed, looking down at some speckles of dirt that was spread across Barbara's hardwood floor.

* * *

 

It turns out, Stephanie did not actually get the non alcoholic brand of eggnog. She just thought she did. So, when the girls decided to add some holiday flavor to the mix, they were drinking actual booze instead of the NA version. About three or four glasses in, they were beginning to feel the effects. Their first batch of cookies were cooling on the rack. All three observed their handiwork, but were ready to dive in for round two. Eggnog made them a bit sleepy and incredibly relaxed so finding the will to make act 2 was trying. 

"This could only happen to you. Pass the butter, please" Barbara sighed as she took the butter from Steph. "Seriously, I'm beginning to think you did it on purpose."

The blonde was flushed with warmth. "Nuh-uh! If I wanted to get drunk, I would and I'd be honest about it. Jason lied to me."

"Wait, why'd you make him buy NA's?"

"How else would I get them?"

"You could just buy them. There's no alcohol in them." Cass said.

"There isn't?" 

"You are cut off." Babs shook her head and took Stephanie's glass away from her.

"What about you?"

"I am fine."

"The out of control egg beater says otherwise!"

"Its spinning! That's literally its purpose."

"Is the bowl supposed to spin?"

"Hush." Inadvertently, the redhead flicked some flour at Steph, who flinched and then gasped.

Barbara's eyes widened. "I didn't meant to..."

"Oh no?" She flicked flour back. "I didn't either."

"I think you did." She punctuated with another flick.

"Guys..." Cass tried, but just as she got between them, Stephanie cracked an egg and instead of hitting Babs with the yolk, it went right in her hair. She glared at her best friend before blowing a handful of sugar at her. Before they knew it, a drunken flour fight ensued and there was no sign of stopping them. Their materials were nearly endless, since Babs had planned on having extras. However, they were utilizing their weapons wisely in their ministrations. They raced around the modest apartment, in and around crevices, drowning out the sounds of music and the TV that was on in the background.

Eventually, they grew exhausted and called it quits when the oven timer went off, acting as their cue to put the second batch in. Instead of yelling or fighting though, they could barely stop laughing as they all lay on the floor in shaking fits, looking like ghosts or powdered donuts. 

They were only taken away from their play when Steph managed to look up and notice familiar eyes peaking through an air vent.

"Tim!" She whined.

Barbara and Cass followed her eye line and groaned.

"Really, Tim? This is a new low."

"Don't you mean high? Since I'm above you?"

"What was your plan here?" Babs asked. "Get Smart your way through and try to slip down by means of a bungee?" 

"... Maybe."

"Why can't you guys just make your own cookies?" Steph asked.

"Your tradition is getting together to make them. Ours is trying to infiltrate this without your noticing."

"You guys kind of suck at it."

"Yeah, and we're drunk." Steph pointed out.

"Stephanie is drunk. We are not." Cass narrowed her eyes. "Some of us have control."

"I see that. Well, I'm not leaving until I get a cookie."

"This is weak." Babs muttered as she stood up.

"You're giving him one?" Steph whined.

Instead, she grabbed the broom and turned it so the stick part was facing upwards. She forcefully banged where her lay across her vents numerous times. 

"Ow!" He yelped. "I feel like a fish being shaken around. Fine, fine I'll go. You guys are no match for Dick, though."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave us to Circus Boy."

* * *

They were sufficiently drunk by the time the third and fourth batches of cookies were completed. They'd tasted their handiwork and were proud of it. Again, nothing compared to the baking or cooking style of Alfred, but it was a close second. The guys at the station would love them and so did they.

"A lot of Dick's stuff is here." Cass hiccuped. They sat on barstools at the island in the middle of Barbara's kitchen. It was true, signs of Dick Grayson were strewn throughout the entire space. It wasn't just some pictures of the two of them, but his jackets, shoes, books (they knew for a fact that the _Big Book of Circus History_  did not belong to Babs) and even a good amount of uniforms and other police stuff was there to remind visitors of his presence. 

"I never see him staying at the manor anymore and I can't remember the last time he actually stayed a night in Bludhaven."

"He still watches over the 'haven." She clarified as she ate a cookie. "But he hasn't stayed there in months."

"Months? My God, what's the point of him even having an apartment there anymore?" Steph asked.

"He doesn't." She answered simply.

"Oh my God. You two live together. How have none of us heard about this?"

A blush crept up her neck and reached her face. "It's not a big deal."

"You've been living together for months without having any safety nets or anything like that. That's serious."

"We've been together for almost 3 years, I'd say we're serious, Stephanie. Besides, it wasn't this big romantic moment or anything you're picturing. Literally, over time he just started spending fewer and fewer nights in Bludhaven and way more here. He already accumulated a ridiculous amount of stuff here and owning a place in a city you never slept in just seemed like a waste. Plus, I don't mind having someone to split the bills with since I'm not actually stupid rich like everyone else around here."

"How romantic." 

"I told you it wasn't! It was a slow progression until he told me his lease was almost up and I told him to drop it."

"And that was it?"

"That was it. Plus, I kind of like having the dork around."

"Does Bruce know?" Cass asked.

"Probably, because he's Bruce, but we haven't talked about it, because we're us."

"Fair." 

"DOUBLE ATTACK!" Dick shouted from wherever he was hiding and burst through the entryway, Damian shooting through the window from the other side and scooped up the tin of cookies that sat on the kitchen counter all nice and prepared. In the blink of an eye, the cookies were gone and as was Damian. His cackle could be heard from a mile away though and Dick only hung back to gloat a little bit. He started this tradition of trying to steal the cookies at a young age when he and Babs became friends. It started as a real thing that developed into a big elaborate joke that was passed on from Robin to Robin. This year, they had teamed up evidently.

The girls stared at them, tipsy and dumbfounded from their position on the floor.

"I guess four birdies is better than one." Babs said.

"For the record, I like being around too." He grinned as he slipped through the window and leaned agains the fire escape. "But I can't stick around right now, because we have some cookies to eat. Ladies, I'm sure you've met my secret weapon, Damian Wayne."

Damian was already gone into the night with the cookies.

"We win! Our plan worked. Jason knew Steph would be too overzealous to know much about non alcoholic eggnog and that you two would end up drinking it too. If I know my girl like I do, she can hold her liquor, so we had to wait until she had a lot. We set your standards unbearably low with Jason and Tim's God awful stunts, which if you guys remember, were pulled in some variation in the past."

"Honestly, we thought you guys just got lazy." said Steph.

"Totally plausible, but untrue. We are in the zone. Damian was in on it this year and I think it was the one Christmas thing he's been excited about. He was happy about fighting in the snow too, but this is our own tradition. Finally, after all these years, we won."

"Easy, Dork Wonder. I'm not above wrestling you."

"Oh believe me," His voice was low. "I know."

She cocked an eyebrow. "I'll give you a head start."

He grinned and waved at them. "Until next year ladies... Well, I'll actually see you guys tomorrow and Babs later, but you get the point. Dramatic effect and all that."

And just like that, he was gone.

When they were sure he was gone, Steph turned to the two other girls. "How long until they realize they stole the fake batch?"

Cass tapped her chin. "Enough time for us to effectively hide these until Christmas."

"Good work, ladies." Babs beamed. "Those idiots actually thought they won. How adorable."


	10. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the tenth day of Christmas, a new villain comes to Gotham and honestly, its absolutely hilarious.

Batman had been overtaken and surprised by few foes. The Joker obviously got his goat more than once. Though to be fair, that was usually by afflicting the lives of those he held nearest and dearest whilst also committing psychological warfare. Bane was the only one to truly physically break him, so that was definitely a low. Riddler got him mentally occasionally, but rarely imposed any physical threat. In other words, he was hardly ever bested and kidnapped, in need of rescuing. He racked his brain to try and remember the last time the team had to band together to have a full-on rescue mission. Those moments were few and rarely consisted of such humiliating means.

Seriously. 

He almost longed for an impossible hand-to-hand combat fight with Bane or a migraine-inducing series of puzzles from Riddler. There should have been challenge to this capture at least. Batman should have been put to the test and his capturer should have felt alarm that his plan wouldn't have succeeded. No, instead, it was almost too easy. He wondered if this new villain thought that or if he realized just how lucky he'd gotten.

The truth was, it was Agent A's fault. He was the one who made the burritos that flew right through him. 

He might have uttered that when his foe wasn't listening.

"I resent that, sir." Agent A said through his comms link. "Especially since I took the liberty of assembling your rescue team."

Batman couldn't answer at risk of giving up that he had a communication device still. It was deeply encoded in his cowl and virtually unable to be detected by any tracker or device. Oracle was more than thorough. The last thing he wanted was a full force coming to see him in all his pitiful glory. He was tied in some type of titanium garland. On top of his cowl was a Santa hat that itched more than humanly possible, even through all of his layers. Maybe his skin simply crawled at the thought of wearing one. Several bouts of glitter bombarded on top of him, sticking to any exposed skin and imprinting itself on his suit for all of eternity. He knew one thing to be sure: glitter was the herpes of arts and crafts. It never went away.

The cell he was being held in was unlike anything he'd ever witnessed from a criminal. It was like being held captive on a Macy's Day parade float. For starters, lights of red and green flashed in all directions, illuminating the entire space. He was bound to a golden throne that was perched on fake presents wrapped in colorful and shimmering paper. Cloud-like tuffs of fluffy white cotton gave the impression that the ground was covered in a supreme amount of snow and a trail was "paved" to lead up to where his feet were secured. Cardboard cutouts of elves and reindeer were carefully displayed so they were in line with the throne that held him. He assumed he was supposed to be the Santa in this bizarre scenario. Outside of the cell, everything else was a mystery.

And of course, in the background, that blasted tune kept blaring on a constant loop.

"It is quite the squad, I must say. I even got Oracle to take a step out and throw on the old go-go boots. It has been a while since we've had a Batgirl in the sky."

He quirked an eyebrow at that and then looked towards the sky in frustration. For as proud of her as he was for stepping back into action, it was definitely not a heroic entryway. She was going to be most disappointed that her first outing since her recovery was such a fluffy mission. Knowing her, she would not likely let him live that down. It'd be a memorable first mission for her. He wondered if she'd continue being known as Oracle or go back to Batgirl. Agent A seemed to assume Batgirl, but Oracle fit her so well.

"Catwoman is on the scene too."

He audible groaned at that. What did he do to deserve this?

He wanted to tell him that it was anything but necessary. He'd ask that Agent A send Black Bat, for she would likely be the easiest to keep quiet. For one thing, she easily talked the least and could be bribed with extra cookies and books to read over something like this. It was definitely a one-person mission that could be taken to the grave as far as memories go. Instead, the whole brigade was coming, likely thinking he was in serious present danger. The only thing at risk right now was his pride. He thought after Condiment King managed to get a punch that one time, he had little pride left. This was untrue and that moment happened while Batman was Bruce and Bruce was sick.

He wished he was held captive by Condiment King, which he never thought he'd say.

* * *

"I do not understand these pairings, Agent A." Robin said. "I typically perform well with Nightwing."

"We get it, Dick's your favorite." Red Hood grumbled over the comms. "Get over it."

"Field names, Hood." Red Robin corrected.

"Do I detect some jealousy there, Little Wing?" Nightwing asked. The smug look on his face could be seen without physical evidence. Everyone knew it.

"Because some demon brat wants to cling to you and nip at your ankles? No thanks. I just hate the kid's whining."

"He must have learned it somewhere." Spoiler grinned over at Red Hood, who despite his face being completely hidden, was likely scowling. That was as easy to predict as Dick's smirk. 

"Its just it has been a while since she's seen direct field action. Things have changed the stakes have certainly raised since the _simpler_ times when she was initially Batgirl. I do not doubt her experience from a  _distance_ , but as for facing challenges upfront and being physically imposing and competent, I'm unsure Gor-Ora-Batgirl can sufficiently keep up with- ow!"

"What happened?" Spoiler asked, though most figured it wasn't an attack from their enemy that caused the boy's yelp.

"She swatted my hind quarters with a batarang!"

"I can't say you didn't deserve it, young sir." Agent A sighed ruefully. 

"Yeah, I'd put my life in BG's hands any day." Nightwing said confidently. "You're in the best of hands, Robin."

Robin didn't answer, bitter no one jumped to his defenses on the matter.

"Holy shit, are we not going to acknowledge the fact that Barbie just _spanked_ him?" Red Hood was shaking laughing now. 

"Field names." It was Black Bat this time.

"What's next? A time out?" Nightwing asked, chuckling in spite of his little brother being disciplined. There was something about the mini assassin being bested by the slight scolding of Batgirl that tickled all of them. Everyone said she became significantly more maternal when she became Oracle and formed her own team, but this was taking it to a new level. Clearly, she was still not to be messed with.

"I'm not above spanking you next." Batgirl retorted.

"Promise?"

She rolled her eyes. She walked into that one. In truth, they were all high strung over Batman's kidnapping. It took a dastardly and quick foe to overtake the Bat. He wasn't one to be reckoned with and each feared that their joined forces as well as the assistance of Catwoman wasn't enough. They had a tendency to use constant and relentless chatter to try and subdue the fear that bubbled up inside of them. On top of that, this was her first time hitting the streets since her full-recovery, extensive physical therapy, and training. She was beyond ready and this was the last step, but it was a big one to make. She glanced over at the figure in red next to her. He looked more like a little boy than ever as his lower lip instinctively jutted out without his knowing. It was clear he was deliberately not making eye contact, which she could understand. She did smack him in the ass with a batarang. She would have felt guilty if he hadn't been going on a long rant about why she wasn't qualified to be out here with everybody else. 

"Kinky. I like where this discussion is heading, but we do have a mission, right?" Catwoman's smooth voice interrupted her thoughts. Even in her attempts to maintain her cool, she sounded nervous too.

"Agreed." She said.

"Agreed that you like where this discussion is heading or agreed that we have a mission? I'm just trying to get the full picture here." Red Hood asked, voice full of teasing.

"I'm really pulling for the former." Nightwing answered. "I've been told my ass is smackable."

"You know what I meant. Red Robin? What are our best entry points?"

"The chimney seems to be our best bet."

"It has a chimney?"

"Looks like a new addition if you ask me." Batgirl observed. "Too tight for most of us to fit. Robin?"

"Tt. I refuse to be your punching bag and your test rat for when things go awry."

"First of all, this is a mission about rescuing  _Batman_ , not a science experiment. Second of all, maybe the others let you say patronizing shit all of the time and let you think you're better because of it, but not me. You are going to treat me with the same respect you did when I was behind the screens. Hear me?"

He was silent and still wouldn't look at her. He let out a sigh that caused a puff of air to come out of his mouth. "I..." 

"What?"

He shut off his comm briefly so no one else could hear him. "I just do not want you to get hurt again. I have seen the way you are in the chair and respect the way you did not let that get in the way of being strong. Your recovery has reignited a spark in you though and I see how happy you make Grayson. It annoys me when he is too happy, because he cannot stop talking, but he's much worse when he's upset. You getting hurt or killed would ruin that."

She considered him for a second and realized he was being genuinely honest. She wondered if this was his way of saying he was worried about her. That meant he cared to some degree what happened to her, even beyond how much he adored Nightwing. "That would almost be sweet if it still wasn't a little patronizing."

He looked up to her quickly, but she got to her words before he could. "Robin, that didn't happen to me as Batgirl. Now I appreciate the concern, but that happened to me while I was living my every day life. Nothing would have changed it and yeah, I didn't let it stop me from doing a lot of good. It didn't define me, but what I did afterwards did. Now, I'm up again and fighting the good fight from this perspective again. Anything can happen to any of us at any moment. I understand that and Nightwing does too. That doesn't mean I'm going to be reckless, but I can't be a coward either. Batman is kidnapped and we need all the manpower we can get. So, here I am. I assure you, I can handle it."

Now, it was his turn to consider her and he did for a long moment before finally nodding in agreement. It was tight and without much expression, but an agreement no less.

He turned his comm back on. "Fine. I'll climb down the chimney."

"Did you get a stern talking to?" Red Hood teased and the others chuckled.

"Will you belligerent fools snap into focus? Batman is missing and we need to protect this city from this obviously impervious threat. When I get in, I will notify you all of the situation at hand and find a door to unlock."

"Kid has a point." Catwoman drawled. "I'll slink through some air vents, see if I can slither over to you."

"It'll be good for us to be placed all around, attack from all sides. That's our best bet." Nightwing agreed.

"We need to assess what we're dealing with before any attacking takes place. This could be our most formidable threat yet." Tim said.

"Agreed. We need to be careful." Black Bat said. "Nightwing and I will try and peer through the windows to see what kind of scene we've got going on here."

"Can Nightwing shutup long enough to go unnoticed?" Red Hood asked.

"You've been doing way more talking than me." 

"At least I don't use the comms as a way of flirting."

"It's a callback to our early romance. It's called being romantic."

"Whatever gets you to sleep at night, Former Boy Wonder." She smirked. "I'll follow Damian through whatever entryway he finds me and survey up close."

"Are you scanning for explosives?" Red Robin asked.

"Don't insult her." Damian snapped. "Of course she is."

"Sorry?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and he still wouldn't look at her, though a pink blush crept across his cheeks.

"Somebody changed their tune." Catwoman added. "I guess that time out worked."

"Silence, Cat. I don't even understand your part in this."

"Nobody tell him." Nightwing murmured.

"Tell me what?"

"We have to go!" Red Robin urged. "I'll stand back here and monitor the audio feeds to see if we can pick anything up. So far, just static. I'm not even going to ask if you have these set on the right channels at risk of your new little minion biting my head off."

"Wise move, RR."

"Spoiler and I are going to go at ground level, take out some of those goofy looking thugs. You know me, I like to get my hands dirty."

"Good move. Catwoman? What's your play?"

"Well, I'm just going to go right through the front door."

"That's right, sex appeal." Red Robin nodded.

"Good to know her move is prostituting herself." Robin growled.

"Easy, birdie. I don't do little smacks like Batgirl, here. I scratch."

Robin was not in the mood to be disciplined by two vigilantes in one day in front of everyone before a mission. It made him feel like a child.

* * *

 

He wanted to bash his head against a wall, but everything around him looked so soft. Everything with the exception of the garland and tinsel that was bound around him and digging into his flesh the more he struggled. Why did he eat those two burritos? Had he not, he wouldn't have had to stop and use the nearest restroom. This restroom just happened to belong to a madman, which to be fair, in Gotham his odds weren't great. Said madman utilized the easy opportunity to lock him in there, gas him until he fell asleep, and move him before bounding him. It was humiliating. 

In the meantime, at least he had music to entertain him. Just kidding. The music made it all the more worse.

"This is going to be perfect for my video." He seethed in the corner, breathing heavily as he added finishing touches to a sparkly costume that already had far too much glitter for Batman's liking. No glitter was his liking.

That was all this bozo kept talking about. He called himself "The Jingler" (no matter how creepy that sounded) and said he wanted to remove all other commercials from cable and replace it with his own series of holiday commercials that spread his own message. When he saw Batman, he was struck with utter inspiration for a new and impressive one. The creative process evidently involved being tortured with the song playing on repeat.

_"Jingle bells, Batman smells._

_Robin laid an egg._

_The batmobile lost a wheel,_

_and Joker got away!"_

It was awful, though original. 

He had an entire music video planned and the set where Batman was being held was going to be the backdrop.

"Do you think we could use the actual batmobile for this?" The round man went on. He was dressed like an elf, though his costume was wildly too small on him. The buttons were screaming to come off.

"No."

"How about Joker? I hear he's in Arkham."

"You will be too."

"Because I have dreams? For my creative vision? I don't murder people."

"Just kidnap them and hold them against their will."

"You haven't once cried out."

"I don't cry."

He thought about this for a moment and tapped at a big hairy mole on one of his chins. "I guess that would hurt the image."

Batman caught a sight of brief movement from his right. He resisted the urge to smile.

"What about Robin? Is he busy?" Jingler asked. "What about Batgirl?"

"Yes, yes she is." The familiar voice said as the bat in question dropped from the ceiling and kicked Jingler right in his large head, sending him stumbling over a cardboard cutout of Rudolph. It broke in half as it broke his fall. He lay there, unconscious in the fluffy mountain of cotton. His buttons gave way as he took a deep breath. Robin appeared soon after, nodding at her before taking the time to bind Jingler up. Though truthfully, neither felt there was much of a threat to be arrested for. Yeah, he kidnapped Batman and likely needed a doctor of some kind, but he didn't want to hurt anyone and hadn't even gotten the chance to do anything else. They were exactly wiping their brows in relief over this one.

"Good work." Batman said simply. "Untie me, please."

"Wait just a second." Nightwing beamed as he crawled through the window. Black Bat was following close behind, a smile on her face too.

"What?"

"Turns out, those guys just work for the mall and-" Hood stopped in his tracks as he looked at Batman. "Holy fuck. This is a great day."

Spoiler gasped and started incessantly giggling.

"You look so pretty, B. What color sparkles are those?"

"Stop it." He growled.

"You sounded just like Robin earlier." Red Robin added as he swung through. "Really should have suspected this guy would be lame when the chimney was wide open."

"The irony of that does not escape me." Nightwing said.

"I didn't expect to actually walk through the front door so-" Now it was Catwoman's turn to stop in shock. She recovered quickly, though all could tell she wasn't EVER letting this one go.

"What sugar plum fairy threw you up?"

"Not funny."

It was hilarious.

"Should I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas?" 

"Not in front of the kids." He gritted.

"Agreed, we're far too pure to hear such things. We've only seen death, destruction, misery, loss, gore, and the second Grease. Little ears are listening and if you aren't careful, we might all lose our virginities soon." Nightwing gasped in feign offense.

"How did this man best you, Father?" Robin all but whined. "How?"

"I will never tell."

"Seriously, this was a weak one if I ever did see one. He made Condiment King look threatening." Batgirl glanced back at the still figure. "He went down with one kick!"

"One awesome kick." Black Bat added and fist bumped her.

"I knew you would say that." He paused. "It is good to have you back in the field, though."

"I'd say my resources probably could have been more useful elsewhere, but thanks."

"You have no idea how awful it is to hear that carol on constant loop." He gritted. "It was agonizing."

"You've never heard that before? Kids used to say it all the time when I was a kid." Hood asked. "Are you that out of the loop?"

"Oh my God, he is." Red Robin gawked. "No wonder he was kidnapped."

"Age is not your friend." Spoiler shook her head.

"Condiment King might be more your speed now." Batgirl teased. "As a practice run."

"Speaking of condiments, it was the horse radish that likely got him, children." Agent A spoke. "I am glad you were able to rescue him."

"They still haven't untied me."

"That's because this is going to make a perfect Christmas card." Nightwing smiled and pulled out his phone. "Everyone get close!"

"NO!"

Everyone squished into the picture, including Damian despite his horror that Batman was bested so easily. It was slightly more reassuring to know this happened during a bowel crisis.

"Say Santa!" Nightwing smiled.

"SANTA!" They all cheered and snapped the photo as Batman brooded more than ever.


	11. Ringing Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eleventh day of Christmas, Dick Grayson is not acting like himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest one so far, but I'd say it is deserved.

Out of everyone in their motley crew of a family, Dick Grayson was easily the most excitable when it came to the Christmas season. He’d been that way ever since he was little. Based on what he mentioned, his parents were adamant about having incredible Christmas’s stocked with cheer and tradition. After they died, it was as if he was determined to celebrate the holiday season enough for all three of them.

Anyone could understand this, even if his relentless exuberance could be exhausting. Jason once described him as “a 7 year old on crack” when it came to the Christmas season. For him, it couldn’t come fast enough. He was pretty much ready for the big day the moment Thanksgiving was deemed over.

Seriously, at the stroke of midnight on Thanksgiving, Dick rips off whatever he was wearing over one of the many Christmas sweaters he owns and starts belting out whatever carol comes to mind. This year, it was “Jingle Bells” and everyone was fairly certain that all of Gotham heard his noisy rendition.

So, it was very peculiar that when Christmas Eve arrived, he wasn’t rushing around trying to help Alfred make last minute preparations around the house or pester Damian about Santa Claus coming that night. No, instead, Dick moved silently and hastily through rooms, seeming like he had to vomit. 

“Grayson, are you ill?” Damian asked. He, for one, was not missing the jolly festivity that Dick typically brought to the table at all hours of the day, but reasoned that if something were physically wrong with him and it was possibly a contagion that could affect and kill them all, he better know about it. Besides, it might get him out of having to wear the ridiculous-looking sweater he’d gotten him.

“No, why?” Dick asked, but he sounded like he was in a far away land of his own, not quite walking amongst the living somehow. He didn’t even look at Damian as he spoke and instead rummaged around, likely trying to distract himself.

“Have you suffered head trauma?”

“Not recently.”

“Were you ever diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder?”

“I was a 9 year old boy who instead of reading in class, like to do handstands in my seat. What do you think?”

“You are acting completely erratic. Does this have to do with Joker or Riddler or-”

“-Dami, I’m fine.” He asserted before breezing past his little brother and down the hall to continue immersing himself in every physical object he could get his hands on. Damian rolled his eyes and disappeared back into his room. Grayson would surely come down off of whatever madness he was temporarily suffering from. 

Alfred was the next to notice Dick looking uncharacteristically broody as he stood in the kitchen, not taking his eyes off of the plethora of food that Alfred prepared as a feast for the entire family, particularly the dozens of cupcakes that were on full display on a four-tier stand.

“They’re still going to be there if you take your eyes off of them, Master Richard. Master Jason tries to steal one before dinner every year and hasn’t been able to sneak by me thus far. I assure you I have experience with a spatula.” Alfred playfully mimicked the idea of swatting someone with a spatula and Dick feigned relaxation to his best ability, but the butler could see well through that act. Bruce always tried it whenever Alfred told him to take a break.

“Is something on your mind, young sir? The guests will be arriving soon.”

Dick didn’t answer for a moment, lost in his own trance as he stood on his feet. Alfred wondered if this had anything to do with his parents. Did he do something reminiscent of them or maybe the opposite? Was he already somehow disappointed by this Christmas? He hated the thought of that. Despite Bruce’s tendency to go Bat on Christmas Eve and Day, Alfred was always bending over backwards to make the holiday as pleasant for Dick as possible.

It got easier when Dick was a little older and was no longer the lonely newly adopted boy with no friends. His friends always tagged in on making it a great day, even if they weren’t fully cognizant of this idea. Barbara Gordon, Dick’s oldest friend and current long-term girlfriend, was a huge contributor to this.

After sensing he’d been asked a question, he snapped out of his haze and shook his head vehemently. Still, his eyes flickered back to the countertop every once and a while as he spoke.

“Nope! Just wondering how we’re going to keep Jason from peeing himself again when he inevitable drinks too much eggnog like he did last year.”

Alfred didn’t buy it, but he let him go when he moved out of the room. Before he was fully gone, Dick pivoted and faced him again, hand absently tapping the doorframe of the kitchen.

“Do you know if Tim’s bringing Conner over for dinner tonight?”

“Well, young Master Kent doesn’t have anywhere else to go this holiday, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Why do you ask?”

Dick paused again, deep in thought, before smiling wide, appearing to regain the color he’d lost in his face. Alfred still could not place why this would give him so much assurance. It didn’t make a lick of sense.

“Just wondering. I want my little brother and his friends to be happy.” He shrugged like it was no big deal and disappeared into the foyer, appearing a little lighter.

Everyone arrived one-by-one and things seemed normal for a bit, but when Tim arrived with Conner, he was back to being a little off balance. No one could really place it, but everyone felt a shift in the current. He was distancing himself a bit, taking on the role of loner in the way Jason normally would. Even the Red Hood was warm with mirth in partial thanks to his third glass of eggnog.

The feast was perfect, to say the least, but Dick barely ate anything. He was asked numerous times in various ways whether or not he was feeling sick and despite answering with a firm no each time, never seemed more convincing. Bruce knew he could be obtuse about feelings, but something was up with his oldest son. When dinner ended and everyone was unbuttoning their pants for extra room or flopping on the coach in lethargy, Dick tapped his foot and waited outside of the bathroom after Conner went in.

After not being able to take looking at his clearly troubled demeanor much longer, Barbara wrapped her arms around his waist and stood on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Hey, I was going to head out after dessert. You know, spend the rest of Christmas Eve with my Dad at the station and drop some food off for the other guys.”

He briefly acknowledged her presence by returning the embrace with an arm around her shoulders. Still, it didn’t seem he was capable of looking her in the eyes right now. He was jittery and unfocused, like he’d just been caught doing something wrong.

“Are you okay?” She raised a hand to feel his face and check for a fever. “You haven’t been acting like yourself tonight.”

“Oh no?”

She shook her head. “You didn’t make one pun during Bruce’s Christmas toast, haven’t forced any family pictures with you and the other Robins and the matching sweaters you forced them all to wear, and you haven’t chased me down with mistletoe once tonight nor have you tried copping a feel before making some lame joke about Christmas coming early.”

The hand that had been draped around her shoulder slipped down her back and rested on the curve of her ass. She rolled her eyes at him as he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“You and I both know there’s no heart in this grope.”

He snorted at that and her face softened as his stone-cold demeanor began to thaw a bit.

“Does it have to do with your parents?” She asked lightly.

He flinched a bit; telling her it was most definitely about them, which made sense given the holiday season. Just because Dick tried to go on all cylinders and was determined to be happy all the time around Christmas, didn’t mean it didn’t come with the catch-22 of being a little melancholic too. Instead of pressing on, she took his face in her hands and brought him down for a soft kiss. 

Conner came out of the bathroom then and eyed the couple for a moment. It looked a lot more promiscuous than the situation actually was: The two of them kissing in private with Barbara pressed against the wall and Dick’s hand on her ass. They broke apart just a moment after he stepped out and flushed pink. 

“Uh, carry on. I was just leaving.”

“No!” Dick said a little too quickly. “Can I borrow you for a moment?”

 

* * *

 

When he said “borrow”, Conner assumed he meant that Dick wanted to have a chat with him about maybe something regarding Tim. Everyone knew the kid had a caffeine addiction and Conner was his best friend. Maybe Dick wanted to set up an intervention of sorts.

No, Dick Grayson literally wanted to borrow him and his powers. He drug him by the arm, an image quite humorous to any viewers, as it was well known that a Kryptonian was several times stronger than the average man. Still, Dick was clearly on some time of quest and was really nervous.

“Everything okay?” He asked as they entered the kitchen.

“I need you to look at everything.” He said. 

“… Okay?”

“Y’know, with your x-ray eyes. I need you to look and see if anything’s in any of the desserts.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Just anything that should not be in desserts. You can’t tell anyone too.”

“Okay, jeeze. You bats are really wound tight. I thought it was just exclusive to Tim.”

Dick must have assumed it would be a longer process than it was, because he looked rather incredulous when Conner shrugged at him a few moments later without the results the original Boy Wonder was looking for.

“Sorry, man. Nothing out of the ordinary in any of these cakes?”

“Nothing.” Dick’s mouth went dry. “That was fast.”

“It’s like glancing at something. If it was there, I would see it.” 

“And you looked at every last cupcake.”

“All 51.”

“There are 52 cupcakes.”

“Not to my counting.”

“What are you, Rain Man? How could you possibly count that fast?”

“I just did, I don’t know. I do have super speed.”

“Of course you do.” Dick scoffed and then massaged his temples. “God damn it.”

“So, you lost something?”

“It belonged to my parents.” He groaned. “I had it around my neck this whole week so I wouldn’t lose it and then earlier today, I found the chain broken on the floor in the kitchen. I’ve looked through this entire house.” 

“I’m sorry.” Conner said awkwardly. 

Suddenly, a loud groan came from the living room and they both piled in through the entryway to see what was causing all of the commotion and saw Jason curled in a ball on the floor, clutching his stomach.

“What’s wrong with him?” Dick asked Bruce, who was kneeling to tend to him.

“Stomach pains.” Bruce’s mouth was in that thin line it was always in when his children were in any semblance of trouble. This could include severe gunshot wounds and even something as simple as a stomachache.

“He probably had too much nog.” Tim proposed. 

“Fuck off, Replacement.” Jason slapped his hand away. “I didn’t have more than last year.”

“Maybe it was something he ate?” Stephanie asked, but revoked her statement when she caught daggers from Alfred.

“Could be an allergic reaction.” Barbara said. “What’d you eat?” 

“Same as you.” He grunted. “And a cupcake.”

“How did you slip past me?” Alfred squawked.

“I win this round, Al.” His smile was wry through his pain-induced sweat.

Conner exchanged a knowing look with Dick and it didn’t take x-ray vision to see the gears moving in his head. He looked to him once more and Conner merely nodded after taking a good look at Jason. He brightened up again and with a sudden bolt of energy, quickly grabbed Jason by the arm and yanked him to his feet. Everyone looked at him and his immediate burst of movement in surprise, especially Jason, who didn’t seem very grateful for the quick turn of positioning.

“What are you doing?” Bruce demanded.

Dick hoisted the larger boy over his shoulder fireman style. “Taking him to the hospital.”

“No way! We treat ourselves for radiation poisoning and fatal stab wounds. There’s no way I’m going to the hospital for food poisoning. Not on Christmas!” 

“You don’t even like Christmas.” Dick rolled his eyes. “Besides, I think it’s a little bit more than that. Everyone just trust me, okay?”

“Master Richard-” Alfred began.

“Dick-” Barbara began at the same time. 

“-Seriously, I’ve got this. I’ll bring little wing back safe and sound. I’ll be back and this will all make a lot more sense later.”

In the distance, as the door shut, they could hear Jason yell at Dick for calling him “little wing” as well as a series of other threats.

 

* * *

 

After they got the hospital and much kicking and screaming later (from Jason), they were situated in the ER and waiting for the doctor to return. He’d performed some routine x-rays as well as a multitude of other tests. Jason joked that they were trying to get as much money from Bruce’s insurance and pocket as humanly possible. Dick didn’t disagree, actually, because they were even asking him questions in relation to body parts unrelated to the stomachache. That seemed to sour Jason’s mood all the more.

Dick was twiddling his fingers and tapping his feet, unable to stay still. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be like this, but usually only when he was nervous like when someone was on the brink of dying.

“I’m gonna be alright, Dickhead. Relax. I’m sure whatever was in that cupcake will pass eventually. By the way, I’m totally going to kick you ass later for this.”

No response. Instead, he just fidgeted with the TV remote.

“Seriously, since when do we come here for routine shit like this?”

“We just had to.” 

“Babs and Tim could have taken good enough care of me.”

“I know.” His jaw tightened. He looked scarily like Bruce when he didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering him. Jason resented that look.

“You’ve been acting like a real freak tonight you know that?” 

“So I’ve been told.”

“Barbie’s worried about you. I told her you’re just a weird guy and she should be used to that by now, but she didn’t seem to agree. You better not be thinking about scooting on her or fucking this up again. I won’t have you shove yourself into another year-long pity party or her working herself half to death to try and keep your dumb mug off of her mind. I’ll kick your ass even more if that’s the case.”

“Noted.”

He rose to his feet the second it seemed the doctor was finally joining them, but instead, it was Barbara Gordon all bundled up and red-faced from the cold. Jason was welcome for the break in tension, but Dick looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too.” She said dryly to her boyfriend. “You guys have been gone for hours! I already stopped at the station and Bruce called me to ask if I’d swing by to check up on you.”

Dick checked his watch and grimaced as it read 11:47 pm. It was already almost Christmas and he was so far behind from everything he’d wanted to do that day. He wasted it all agonizing over his own stupid mistake. He wanted to bang his head against the wall. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked Jason.

“Oh, you know, like something the size of a crater is making its way through my digestive system. Other than that, all right. The jello here isn’t bad.”

She smiled lightly and turned to Dick. “And you? Are you still in a funk?”

“Well, my brother _is_ in the hospital, Babs.” 

“We all know you’ve been acting like a mope all night.” Jason called from the bed. “And if anyone should be acting weird its me. My cupcake was spiked by my own brother.

She rolled her eyes. “Any word yet on what it was?” 

“Nope.” Jason popped.

Dick could see through the small window in the door that the doctor was circling the corner to come into the room, Jason’s clipboard at hand. He turned to Babs.

“Babe, could you maybe go get me some coffee? I feel like that might perk me up.” His anxiety was being worn on his sleeve, but he did seem exhausted. Dick hardly ever drank coffee unless it was infused with sugar, whipped cream, and more sugar. Still, she complied and turned on her feet to wander down the hall. 

The doctor appeared shortly with the x-rays at hand. 

“I don’t know what you Wayne boys consider to be appetizers, but platinum is not food. Just because you have the funds to be as frivolous as to eat it, doesn’t mean you should. Otherwise, you’re going to wind up with a big stomachache just like you have, Jason.”

 Jason wrinkled his brow. “Platinum?”

“Or diamonds.” He chuckled. “I know the expression “pulling a diamond out of your ass” is certainly a thing, but you don’t have to try and take it literally.”

“Will it come out… All together?” Dick asked carefully.

“Oh yes. It appears he swallowed it whole. It should pass within the next few hours with the laxatives we’ve given him. Since its such a valuable item, we’ll sift through it here.”

“You’re going to sift through my shit? Jesus, who has that lucky job?”

“Interns.”

He whistled and it seemed he was actually quite sympathetic over the matter. 

“Usually we only have this sort of thing happening with babies, by the way.”

“Wait.” Jason looked at the x-ray as it illuminated on the glowing canvas on the wall. It was a detailed visual of all the things currently in his stomach. Of course, there was a good amount of liquid and chomped up food, but at the center of it all, like his stomach was a universe and it was the sun, was the clear shape of a diamond ring.

Realization dawned on him as everything shifted into perspective. Dick’s behavior all day was now totally and completely making perfect sense. Of course he was anxious all day. He was not only going to propose, which would make most men nervous, but he lost the ring on the day he was trying to propose. Not only that, but the ring was consumed by one of his brothers.

“How the fuck-”

“-I wore it around my neck all week so something this stupid _wouldn’t_ happen, but earlier today, I was chasing Damian down with his matching sweater and he fought back… Hard. He must have sliced the thing cleaned off with his katana sword that you got him last Christmas and it landed in the batter for Alfred’s cupcakes that he was making.”

“Dick-” 

“-I know what you’re thinking, I colossally screwed this up, but you cannot tell Babs about this. I had this whole big thing planned and now its ruined and I have to come up with something else. I can’t have her knowing that the ring she hopefully accepts has been caked inside a dessert, stomach acid, and shit!”

“Uh, I won’t have to.” He said awkwardly.

Dick turned to see a frozen Barbara Gordon standing in the doorway, holding two Styrofoam coffee cups in her hands. It looked like she could drop them at any moment. Her eyes were full-sized green moons and her mouth hung open a bit out of speechlessness. Her stare was trained on the x-ray monitor and more specifically, the engagement ring that was currently residing inside Jason’s stomach.

“So,” The doctor began, reminding everyone he was in the room once more. “I’m guessing this is the not-so-lucky lady whose engagement ring is about to go down the slippery slope of your intestines.” 

“You would be correct about that.” Jason nodded. “And if you’ve followed their relationship like me and the rest of my family has, you would know that this is totally something that would happen to them.”

“Timing isn’t their strongest suit, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I’m going to leave you three alone for some privacy.” The tension in the room was electric enough to spark a flame if anything rubbed together too much.

“Any chance you didn’t hear any of that?” He coughed awkwardly.

She stared at him incredulously and placed down the coffee cups. He knew good and well that she’d heard enough. Even if she didn’t, the ring was plain to see and she was a detective. Putting the pieces together wasn’t that difficult. 

God, when he’d been agonizing on how this conversation was going to go down, it included rose petals and Christmas lights as well as nods to their past together as friends and as a couple. It didn’t include dim hospital lighting, a withering Christmas tree in the corner, and a sweaty Jason Todd watching the whole train wreck unfold. He also pictured he’d be holding the ring in this scenario. 

Everything made sense now and she was wondering how she hadn’t thought of it before. The anxiety, evasiveness, and odd behavior all boiled down to the fact that Richard Grayson had wanted to propose to her that night. That thought alone moved what felt like firecrackers up and down the surface of her skin and made her heart skip a beat. She couldn’t fight the smile that was breaking across her face even if she tried. She was fairly sure nothing in the universe could remove it.

“You know, when you propose and put the ring in a dessert, you’re supposed to make sure nobody eats it.” She broke what felt like years of silence and he felt himself breathing again.

“Blame Damian and his katana sword.”

 _“That’s ridiculous! If Grayson hadn’t been so insistent on my wearing this hideous sweater, I wouldn’t have had to retaliate with physical force.”_

_“Who the hell gave you a katana sword?”_

_“Who do you think?”_  

_“Shut up, before they hear us.”_

Both turned to see Jason, holding his cell-phone in front of him, clearly on FaceTime with the rest of their family. Steph, Tim, Cass, Bruce, Damian, Selina, and Alfred could all be seen trying to squish their way into view. Jason shrugged without saying anything and Barbara rolled her eyes as she turned back to face Dick.

“I swear I had something really special planned.”

“More “special” than having the ring lodged in your brother’s intestines, with the entire family watching via FaceTime, and in the middle of a dimly lit hospital room with said brother sweating it out and groaning in the corner?” 

“I was going to take you where we first met. You know, the roof of the GCPD. I had it all decorated with Christmas lights and what not. Your Dad actually helped.” 

“He did?” 

“Yeah, he’s a lot better with setting a romantic scene than you’d expect. Anyway, we were going to go there and the song that played when we danced together at prom was going to play. I was going to drop to one knee and…”

Sniffles were heard from the screen in Jason’s hands.

“God damn it, Replacement. Would you get it together?” He groaned.

He winced and looked back at her. “This is probably the worst proposal in the history of proposals, huh?”

“Well, I don’t know.” She took a step forward, a spark catching her eye. “You haven’t exactly asked me anything yet. 

He gave her a look as if to ask her if this was really what she wanted him to do and she simply nodded, the small and knowing smile never leaving her mouth. Dick took that as his cue and bent down on one knee in the middle of the hospital room, taking her hands in his. From behind him, a very vocal squeal could be heard on speaker.

_“Stephanie, be quiet or you don’t get to watch.”_

_“Spoil-sport.”_

“I had a whole speech planned, but that doesn’t seem to really fit what’s happening now.” He laughed nervously. “But… You know how much I love Christmastime. It’s my favorite time of year, because it reminds me of my parents. And it wasn’t just about the presents or the pretty lights. It was this… This warm feeling of being home that flowed through my body like it was air when I spent the holidays with them. Everything was in Technicolor, because that’s how the world was to be seen around Christmas. Nobody did Christmas like John and Mary Grayson. And still, I might have loved it just a bit more than them, because of how much they brought it alive for me. My Mom and Dad actually got married on Christmas, with that ring.” He turned a bit to point to the monitor behind them to make a point. Tears were already filling her eyes and he only squeezed her hands tighter as he felt the emotions of the moment catching up to him too.

“And they weren’t perfect, but God, they loved each other. And me. That ring was one of the only things I got after everything was said and done after my parent’s deaths and I’ve had it all this time, knowing that I couldn’t in good conscience propose to anyone with it until I found someone that made me feel that same level of elation, except all year round.” His eyes were filled with tears of his own, but he admirably powered through with nothing but earnestness and love in his eyes as he gazed up at her.

“I knew you were going to be someone I could never forget the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew you were my best friend when you defended me from bullies at school. I knew you were my partner through and through when you became the only person in my life who truly understood the personal and professional sides of my life, because you seamlessly existed in both of them and neither would have made sense without you. I knew I loved you when we were kids at your prom and the only thing I could think about in the entire space of the universe was the idea of dancing with you. I had many moments where I thought about marrying you over the years, but the one that pushed me over the edge was 6 months ago when I walked in on you asleep on the couch with Damian nestled into your side, books and case information strewn about. I don’t know, with everything that goes on in our lives, it just looked peaceful and that’s when it dawned on me.”

She took one hand away to wipe the tears that flowed down her cheeks and eventually gave it back to him to hold.

“I realized, you don’t just give me holiday-level feelings all year round, but that I love you more than any of it.” 

She furrowed her brow in confusion, but he continued. “I love you more than Christmas Eve, Day or any of the traditions… Any of it. The way I feel when you’re with me or when I think about you is and always will be the best part of my life. I want that always. I want _you_ always. And even though I won’t have a ring for about 5 hours plus the time its going to take to properly disinfect that thing… If you still want that ring, of course, because I’d totally-”

“-I want that ring.” She couldn’t take silence much longer and still her words came out like a little half-sob. She never pictured herself to be the type of person to cry when she was being proposed to, but she couldn’t help it. Yeah, everyone was watching them through Jason’s tiny screen, the ring was lodged up Jason’s ass, and they were in a hospital room, but Dick Grayson was kneeling in front of her, heart on his sleeve, and telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That, was something that was tear inducing to say the least. 

“A-are you sure?”

God, she’d never been surer about anything. Barbara Gordon was rarely the type to be unsure, too. 

“I mean, above all else I want _you_ , but I’m not wearing it until it’s sent out for cleaning at a few _different_ reputable places, but ultimately I don’t want or need anything else.”

“So,” He said softly. “Is that a yes?”

She laughed a little through her tears and basically tackled him in a tight embrace before officially answering. “That’s a yes, Dork Wonder.”

She took his face in her hands and kissed him passionately, the cold floor of the hospital room serving as a backdrop for their tangled embrace. Everyone cheered in the background, including a few nurses from the hallway. Bruce could be heard on the line mumbling something about it “taking them long enough” as if he had any room to talk on that matter.

“Hey, guys... not to interrupt this touching moment and all, but I think that expression “diamond in the rough” is starting to come into fruition.” Jason groaned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ringing bells as in wedding bells (;


	12. All Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the twelfth and final day of Christmas, they all relish a rare moment of serenity.

As every year they were woken up, regardless of how late they stayed up, by the relentless and incessant persistence of Dick Grayson. He wakes them all differently and appropriately for each person, and in a proper order. He starts with his new fiancée (a term that causes his heart to flutter when he thinks of it), who slept beside him. He'd snuck into the guest room Alfred always set up for her (he insisted in spite of the fact that they were now engaged and have lived together for the past 6 months) and found her soft and full of sleep. She was rightfully woken with a barrage of kisses all over her face and while she instinctually fights it at first, there were certainly worse ways to be shaken from slumber than the warm presence of Dick Grayson hovering over her and kissing her senselessly. Because she's a team player, she fully wakes up and distracts him for a bit, earning everyone else about 30 extra minutes of sleep.

Because he was a man with a plan, he doesn't allow himself to go completely off the rails and back to sleep like everyone surely wished. He enlisted Babs to help him wake Jason, since he knew the effort would require two people. In previous years, he always started gentle with Jason, but now learned it was best to just save the time and go right to dumping ice water over his head and getting a head start to a good hiding place. So they did. Babs dumped and Dick ran.

He ran into Tim's room, knowing full well that the light sleeper would be awoken with a start to all the commotion and was unable to fall back asleep once awake. Dick would slip out the window, climb along the ledge, and into Cass's room. Jason, the meantime, would start hollering at the nearest person to him, who was Tim, and eventually go find another person to annoy when Tim got too easy. had this down to a science after accidentally stumbling in when trying to escape Jason's wrath the first year Tim was around. The person he would annoy, would obviously be Stephanie.

Steph would burst through her door and get into it with Jason about shutting up and would soon drift into a conversation about why he was wet, which would lead to her own laughter. Jason would get annoyed, but hug her so her pajamas were wet too. Another plus to this, was that both would have no choice but to change into the matching pjs as they had no others available.

Cass was easy to wake, but difficult to get out of bed. Tickling always seemed to work as well as bribery of waffles. Dick used both. The waffles were made by Babs, of course, while he supplied the tickling. She mocked annoyance, but she enjoyed her oldest brother's silliness.

Damian was the last kid to wake and Dick simply just picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. The youngest objected quite vocally, turn woke Alfred and Bruce.

"GRAYSON! UNHAND ME!"

"We have to see what Santa brought!"

"Santa isn't real, you dolt. The gifts will still be there in a few hours." He tried to wriggle free.

"I gotta side with the kid." Jason grumbled as he slipped on the matching red pjs that had penguins all over. He refused to wear the shirt and instead wore a white shirt. Dick took what he could get.

"You can nap later. Come on! We need to see what we got. Most people are like me and excited about Christmas."

"Barbie, I thought we talked about a contingency plan in the event that he wakes up at sunrise." He groaned.

"It didn't work."

He cast a fake sympathetic look to her. "Maybe you should get him viagra for Christmas. You're choosing to spend the rest of your life with that one-"

"-Not that." She rolled her eyes. "The plan didn't work."

Steph groaned, rubbing her eyes. "Well, did you do it right? Or was it a flop?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response!" 

"Didn't sound like a flop, thank you very much." Tim shivered.

"Evidently she didn't do enough if we're all awake." Damian added. "We were up all night celebrating and now we are supposed to pretend to want to be awake with now?"

"It'll feel better when we're all tearing through paper, Dami." Dick chirped. 

"I miss when you were afraid you lost the ring."

* * *

 

Christmas music played throughout the manor as each member settled in their cozy pajamas and with their own cup of coffee. Bruce normally protested the children having any, especially the younger ones, but it was Christmas and they were all wiped from the makeshift engagement party the night before. He needed to wake up a bit too for their special guest that was arriving.

"Nervous?" Alfred asked as he began to whip up breakfast.

"Why would I be?"

"Not only is this your first Christmas morning since you were a child, but Selina Kyle is coming over."

"My backup plan is to bring her along for a mission. I'm sure there's something out there."

"Please don't. It means so much to them that you're here. Master Damian doesn't show it, but he wouldn't be nearly as invested as so if it weren't for your presence. He aims to impress you."

Bruce nodded. "I'll try."

"Just because they're your family too doesn't mean you're replacing your parents."

He considered this. "Thanks, Alfred."

He joined the impatient crowd as they began handing their gifts out. They did a secret Santa, but everyone got Bruce something. Damian got him personalized ninja stars, Tim got him a new set of ties for every day of the week, Barbara got him  a box set of the Adam West parody of Batman, Dick got him a new watch with bat wings as the hands, Jason got him a "free hugs" t-shirt, Steph got him a book on understanding new slang, and Cass made him a scarf. He loved it all.

The doorbell rang as if on cue and Selina was on the other side of it, looking overdressed and beautiful. She seemed to notice she stuck out and actually seemed self-conscious. 

"I would have worn pajamas if you told me."

He looked down at the clothes Dick made him wear for a later picture. "Merry Christmas."

"Don't worry!" The oldest Robin smiled and hopped over to them. "I've got a pair for you too."

"Why?" Damian could be heard squawking in the background. He was shushed by Steph.

"I hear a congratulations is necessary." She smiled at Dick and glanced over at Barbara. "Where's the ring?"

"Thank you, but long story." He chuckled and Bruce joined him.

"Please, come in. We were just opening gifts." Bruce took her coat and moved aside to let her in.

She looked at all the wrestling, laughing and chatting that took place on the floor. There was a lot of love there. She had to admit it seemed appealing. Bruce was eyeing her carefully. 

"Mistletoe!" Stephanie oggled and the others joined in. Damian complained once more, but Cass shushed him this time.

Bruce and Selina looked up and she could see his face turning as red as his pajamas. 

She grinned before going right in and capturing his lips with her own. He gasped a bit at first, but settled on the warm feeling of her soft and tentative lips as they kissed his fervently. It was as if they were each other's cure to a long drought. In many ways, they were. It was a heavy sort of kiss that sucked the breath out of both of them, leaving them pantingand staring at each other. Someone whistled, but neither could place who.

"Wha-" He started, but she raised a finger to his lips. 

She leaned in to his ear and nibbled at the lobe. "I'll let you unwrap your gift later..."

He made a noise in the back of his throat as it amused her that she could render the big bad Bat to mush.

The gift giving continued once that particular spectacle ended for the time being.

"Jay can go first this year." Dick decided. "Grab your gift from under the tree and give it to the appropriate person."

"I know how this works." He said but still did it. "Here Replacement."

He tossed the box at him as if it wasn't incredibly heavy and Tim struggled to catch it.

"What? We went shopping together though. You had Steph!"

"Nah, I did that to throw you off since you're crazy and compulsive."

"So, I'm wrong about everyone."

"And nothing is spoiled."

Although slightly disappointed by being tricked, he quickly got over it. His eyes widened as he tore through the poor wrap job to discover the very microscope he wanted all along and didn't expect to get due to the rules. 

"Wait a second..." Steph began to call foul.

"Relax, I didn't buy it." He looked to a curious Dick and sighed. "Or steal it. I got it from STAR labs for free after finally letting them perform tests on me. They've been wanting to do that since I climbed from the pit."

"Wow." Tim couldn't stop grinning. "This is incredible, man. Thank you."

"Just... No hugs, okay?"

"Deal."

Tim had Cass, who he found incredibly difficult to look for. He would have had a hard time buying for her, but making something was even harder. He wanted to win too. All he could say was he did his best.

"It's a mix-tape." He smiled. "I put together a playlist of songs that I think fit you so well both in mood and in lyrics."

She handled it carefully as if it might break before hugging him. "I love it."

"You haven't listened yet."

"You know me well. So I know I will love it."

Cass had Steph and like for Bruce, used her newly acquired knitting skills to work and made her a warmer purple cloak for the winter time. It matched her suit perfectly and looked like a warm enough layer to prevent any chill.

"This is awesome." She beamed.

"You were complaining about the cold."

"I know and this will definitely do the trick. It's so thick!"

"Lots of wool."

"You made this?"

"A little bit each night." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

"Thanks Cass." She hugged her best friend. "It's beautiful."

Stephanie had Damian and presented him with a little black cat with big green eyes. She rescued him from the streets and got his shots and everything free of charge through her mother's friend that is a vet. Damian started to tear up at the sight of the little kitten, unable to resist any animal. 

"This... Is  adequate, Brown." He said softly as he cradled the kitten.

"He's a tough little guy. He reminds me of you. Looks and all."

"I shall call him Robin then." He smiled. "He looks like one."

"Less whiny." Teased Selina, though she was already on the floor with Damian and cooing at the baby cat.

He let her hold the little guy while he gave Dick his present. 

"I had help in assembling this, particularly in gathering the photos." Damian stated as he gave Dick a large blue book. Sure enough, it was a photo album debuting some of the highlights of his time with the family starting from the beginning when he first moved in and up until now, where a black spot was left for the group photo they all inevitably took. 

"Damian..." He trailed off as he flipped through, staring at each page. Everything was chronicled from the pictures Alfred took of the three of them after Dick's first year at the manor, to the photos he and Babs took in a photo booth as teenagers in their Batgirl and Robin suits, to when Jason and he went skiing shortly after Jason moved in, to Cass and him on a rock climbing wall, to a picture of he and Tim that was being photo bombed by Steph, to candids in the cave and just hanging around, to plenty of pictures that Dick took of heard Damian even when Damian didn't want. It was amazing.

He hadn't spoken in a while, which gave the wrong message to Damian.

"Do you not like it?" He asked nervously.

Without warning, he pulled the small boy in for a hug he did not immediately try to jump out of. "Best present ever."

"Ever? Your standards are so low."

"Nah, D, they really aren't."

"I had help."

"That makes me even happier."

After Another hug, he handed Babs a box.

"Um, I thought you already got me something kind of big."

"Yeah, well I'm not Tim and had to get something else too. Full warning, it's not an engagement ring."

"Damn. I really wanted one of those." She teased.

"In 3-4 weeks you'll have one after the deep cleaning."

"I anticipate it." She opened the small box and smiled. "Tickets to the ballet? These were sold out. How'd you get them for free?"

"I rescued the right cat from the right tree a few weeks ago."

"I thought firemen did that."

"Well, maybe I'm an everything man."

"That you are." She pecked his lips. "Thank you."

"And was your acceptance of my proposal my gift?"

She smirked. "I got you non-Grayson clothes."

"Hey!"

"... amongst other things..."

"Oh!" He nodded quickly. "Right."

"As for you." She handed Jason a slip of paper. "You are officially alive again."

"What?"

"Hacked into the database, worked a little magic, altered some records and not only are you alive, but you were never dead and you've never committed a crime. Fresh start."

He was speechless for once.

"I hope this makes up for a constipated start to your holiday." She said wryly.

He still smiled and got up to hug her. "Thanks Barbie."

"It's good to have you back."

"We didn't forget you, Alfred." Dick called.

The kids all came together and got Alfred a two-week resort getaway vacation in Vienna. It was an incredibly exclusive resort that required knowing several connections and was also situated in the heart of the historical district. Alfred always talked of going recently, since it was where his parents honeymooned. 

He smiled, tears filling his eyes. "This is beautiful, kids. Thank you."

"If anyone deserves a break, it's you." Tim said earnestly.

Alfred hoped they knew he didn't need a break from them. Having them close and full of love and light was all he ever needed or wanted. They were like his grandchildren and he loved them all dearly. That didn't mean he would reject this kind gift, but it did mean he would miss them and worry a bit. He would always worry. It was what he did, but seeing them right now as they all piled on top of each other in warmth and mirth, he realized this was the best Christmas yet. He wouldn't change a thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everybody! This was fun to keep up with and I'm proud of myself for managing to stick with it even when the holidays got crazy busy. Hope everyone's day, regardless of what you're celebrating, is full of cheer.


End file.
